No Fear

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. I John 4:18

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. I Cor 13:3-8

I need to remind myself that the hardest part of parenting an HIV+ child will be the social stigma. So far we have been open about our son's HIV status. I'm not good at keeping secrets, that involve my everyday life. And I don't want anyone to accuse me of endangering them unknowingly. I don't believe that I am endangering anyone by adopting this child, but I do realize that some people will feel that way.

The negative reactions that I have received have been minimal so far. I know that others have received some BIG uglies. I have to confess that fear starts to creep in when I hear what fear and hate causes others to say. Yesterday during church we were reminded that love is patient. That God works in His own time. That helped me to remember what love is. And that perfect love casts out fear. Love is not tidy. It is not easy. It is not always fun. I love this little boy that God has called into our home. I have to remember that loving him will be challenging, but that Jesus died for him. Christ suffered and died so that I could face fear in others without giving in to fear myself. Christ calls us to minister to those that others fear, and loath, and want nothing to do with. That is what love is.

This road is hard, but it is what eternal life is all about. This is glory. To go out to the world and bring in the children, the sick, the persecuted, the hungry, the sinners that no one wants on their block. Yes, there are children like these in Idaho. There are people in our quiet rural towns that are suffering. My husband ran across this article today that puts things in perspective to those of us who think HIV doesn't exist in Idaho. They are afraid to let people know what is going on in their lives because they are afraid of what people will say to their families. People with HIV are not afraid of dieing, they are afraid of their neighbors finding out.

I do realize that my son will grow up and be a man some day. And I hope and pray that he will want to have a family. Yes, I know that his wife will be at risk of being infected. But that risk is very low. I also have the responsibility to teach my child that there are severe consequences for his behavior. I plan to inform those around him how they can minimize their risk. I accept that I have a great responsibility here. I am also bringing a responsibility to those in my community. What are you afraid of? What is the real risk? What does love look like in your life?

My "virtual friend" Erin, is an amazing advocate for these children. She has been very open about her family, and very well informed. There was a national article about her family recently in many newspapers around the country. She opened herself up to a lot of ugliness. One priest answered the article this way. These children are the children that Jesus came to save. This is how I can serve him in mighty way, even though I'm just a mom. I will be brave for him, I will not give in to the temptation to fear.