Eyes that See

God has opened my eyes in so many ways. I am learning more about families and how they function. I am learning about churches and communities. I am learning what it means to love your people. I am learning about how adoption changes the world.

I spent the day at a friend's house watching her kids. It is interesting to see a family function in their own home from the perspective of an outsider. I came away with a deeper awe of my friend. And a deep appreciation that I have friends that can be my eyes from the outside. I will remember to ask their opinions more often. They can see things happening in my family that I can't see from my perspective. I need to listen to them more. I am extremely grateful for the wise words from Erin and Gay at AAI. They have seen it all, and fortunately I took their advice.

I also recognize that in adopting children you aren't just taking in a new child. It isn't like adopting a pet, it is very much like having a new baby. I think I expected it to be like having a new independent being. I am adjusting my expectations to accommodate for the energy and time it is going to take to bring N fully into our family. He will need time to develop attachment to us, and to find his place in our home. I will need time to learn who this little guy is, and how he functions in our home. I need to discern his love language, his besetting sins, his strengths and his weaknesses. I need to give him time to get settled before I think about taking on new crusades.

I also see the great need to have others involved in this adventure. I can't do it all well. It is okay to ask for help cleaning my house, or making a few meals. We need to come up alongside each other and bear these burdens together. I need my friends to help me keep my perspective. Sometimes that means time to go for a walk, or go out for coffee, or sit and type out my ramblings on this silly blog. Adoption is not a solo project, it is a team effort.

I also met an amazing Ethiopian woman. She was quiet, and patient. She answered my questions very honestly and gave a very simple talk about her ministry. What she communicated without words was really very profound to me. I had asked about what happens to her girls when their family members die. I asked if they were ever adopted out. She said that they usually go to live with extended family or neighbors. What she didn't say, but I could infer from her was that she loved these girls. They are Ethiopian girls and they are her hope for the future of Ethiopia. She has incredible faith in these girls achieving their dreams. In achieving their dreams they will be leading Ethiopia out of their present difficulties. I don't know if all Ethiopians feel the way she does, but if they do the future for Ethiopia may be very bright. I also learned from her that our adoption has opened our eyes. It has opened the eyes of those around us. There are many ways that we can help Ethiopia from our little home in Idaho. Bringing N here is not the answer to Ethiopia's problems, but he will be an ambassador for his home country. And his people will be our people, and I am committed to helping them as I would my own family.

I am seeing this process as a lifestyle change. This is not a one year process that we are going through to add a little one to our home. This is a change in direction for our family. We are looking for ways that we could bring Ethiopian children here possibly as students for a year or two. Maybe we could start a school there. Maybe we could support a home for these adolescent girls to live in where they will be safe, and their basic needs can be met. If Hanna can have faith in these girls to become pilots, teachers and doctors, then I can have faith that I can help them achieve these goals. Our family can make a difference for Ethiopia. I need to have faith and take the long view. Having N home is not the end it is only the beginning.