Okay, enough of the quotes. I have had too much rolling around in my brain that needs to be sorted out. I have been in a pre-Easter funk. Spring in the Palouse is not the most inspiring time of year. The fields are rich with mud. The children are flying every which way with activities. And the toddlers and I are feeling very housebound.
I have been reflecting on what I am doing here. My days are fairly monotonous. I know that that is the way of things, but I keep wondering where I am going. I had dreamed of living more of a "community oriented" life. The reality is that I spend a lot of time in my house with my kids, cleaning up after my family. We are a party in and of ourselves, it is true, but I thought there would be more adults in my life.
As it has turned out, when I became an adult I moved away from my family. My husband got a job and headed off to work. As my children grow up they head off to activities. My brother got a job in another town and off he went to work. Here I am. My and my three year olds. They can be entertaining, but they think I am boring. I am starting to feel boring.
I don't want this for my girls. I want them to feel fulfilled. I want them to feel creative. I know other women that stay home with their kids who are creative and have found great ways to make money from home. They are gifted. Okay, I am coveting, and starting to whine. I just really miss my family. I am afraid that my kids are going to grow up and go off into the wide world and leave me here, alone. I am in a funk.
Life in a small town with a large family. Trying to put God on display.
2 comments:
Ha, you are in a funk but guess what there is nothing you can do, it comes and goes. I go to work all day and wished I could be home and be with the kids or in a quiet house where the kids are off to school. I wished I could keep a cleaner house because I am out of the house all day. Maybe you could start a fun home business or something. Also the kiddos are growing up so fast its not even funny and than you could do something you always wanted to do.
Miss Sig you do a lot for your family and are a great mother. You do a lot for other people even if you don't realize it at times. You are a great influence in your children's lives even if they tell you that you are boring, etc. They have and are learning a lot from you. How to be a good wife, mother, home keeper and friend. Don't let the blues of "spring" get you down.
love you!
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