Good Work

We have been working hard on attachment. It has been wonderful work, and Nes seems to be an expert at it. I had read several really good books prior to bringing him home. As with everything in life reading is a good prep, but there are some aspects that you just have to experience. Nes is a very organized and affectionate little boy.

Hold On To Your Kids had this list of ways to attaching:

1. Senses-physical proximity

2. Sameness-seeking to be like others

3. Belonging and Loyalty-laying claim to the one you are attaching to

4. Significance-feeling like we matter to someone

5. Feeling-emotions

6. Being known-all of the above on a psychological level

I like having this guideline to see how we are doing. He has been so easy that sometimes I forget that this is something we need to be working on. I tend to get my head into the work in front of me and let the kids do their own thing. He is good at taking my hand and saying "Come on" and bringing me into his world where I need to be. As I type he is sitting next to me with his hand on me listening to music. He has a definite preference for Beyonce, Rhianna, Mariah Carey...He is not so keen on Bon Jovi. The girls have had their influence.

I am learning a lot about attachment. It has been a good exercise for all of my family. It has even been helpful with my husband. It is good to have someone around to remind us that sometimes we need to work at just being with each other.

The new word for the week is why? We are getting it after every command. Yeah, he is about as normal as they get.