Taking the Long View

My friend Lisa encouraged me to comment on a question posted on her blog. I'm still thinking about how to answer it. The question is: "What are the non-negotiables that need to be in place before you feel free to adopt again?" I think I am having trouble because the answer really should be very personal, but in this format it is very general. I'm sure I will come up with something.



The advice that I wish I would have gotten, or did get and didn't get, would be to take the long view of things. It is hard to see down the road, and rightly so or we might just get off and park. I know that my Dad tried to tell me, and I thought he was just getting old and worrying too much. His advice was: "Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems." I found this very discouraging when my kids were 4, 2 and infant, and squabbling incoherently all day long. I kept looking at the ladies with teenage girls that cleaned the house and cooked and thought things would get easier. They did get easier in some areas, and definitely more difficult in others.



I can't find the Oswald Chambers devotional that I read recently but my summation of it is that often we come up with great things we want to do for God, but forget to stop and look to Him. Did he really call me to this, or does it just look like such a great thing that I can't say no? I know that as a young woman I thought I could take on the world, and I spent a lot of time charging around making huge messes in the name of God. God in His kindness has used those messes to humble me, and help me see how far and wide sin can go. I'm sure that when my children get older and start making big messes of their own I will have a lot more compassion.



What all this has taught me is that although my time on the earth will not be very long in light of eternity, it is plenty of time. I don't have to do everything today, and every problem that arises is not mine to tackle. God has set boundaries for me, and I need to know Him well to know what those are. He is not a God of the half hour sitcom, He is the God of eternity. I have learned that waiting on Him is a blessing. I know that waiting is difficult, and often seems like time wasted, but God is working while we wait. The waiting is a time of growth and anticipation. As my children get older and our conversations get more interesting I realize how much time I have wasted thinking that I was doing things that were productive. I kept myself uselessly busy. It is the story of Mary and Martha. I can identify completely with Martha, in fact I sound just like her right about dinner time when I am trying to get everything on the table for the hungry hoard. But Jesus kindly points out to her that Mary had her priorities in order, not Martha.



Being still is very difficult, especially in this society. Moments of stillness get fewer and farther between when there are lots of people that are moving around you, and need you to be involved in their movement. Enjoy quiet moments. Use them to look to God. Let Him lead you in the good works that He has set before you from before the foundation of the world. Children are a blessing from the Lord. They are a permanent blessing in whatever condition it is that God gives them to you. They will be with you for eternity, even though your years of teaching and training will be relatively short.



My advice to my children when thinking about families. Look to God, let Him lead you. Know your limits and submit them to God as well. Listen to your spouse, they are your partner in this business for life. Make sure you are living your life with joy and not guilt. Remember the needs of those around you that are depending on you. This is your life, but you are not living it alone, if you are selfish it will affect everyone around you. If you don't believe me, call Grandpa.