Easter

Lent has been a difficult season for me. It may be the cold dreary weather. It may be adjusting to new children. It may be that some of the hardest things in my life have happened around this time of year. It may just be hormones, who knows?

Yesterday we spent the day with several of our dearest friends. God was kind and gave us sunshine all day, which was a beautiful thing since it has been snowing, and is snowing again today. It is always so therapeutic to spend time eating, drinking, and talking about war movies with people you love. Our older children hid eggs for the younger children. I have no idea how many children were there, but they got along beautifully. It was a very good day.

Our church is currently homeless, so on Easter we get booted from our room at a local hotel, and meet in our school's fieldhouse. It always seems so empty at 8:00 in the morning, but nonetheless we were there bright and early. We didn't do any big shopping spree prior to Easter so we looked a little haphazard. Omega in particular chose her own outfit, which had her characteristic lack of needing to match. At one point in the service I looked down the row and thought about all of the things my children have suffered in their short lives. I never would have guessed that we would have been taken down some of the roads we have traveled, and yet here we are.

We are not perfect in any way. We worship in a big metal building that looks like our local transfer station. We wear tights that don't match our dresses, or shoes, or hair ties, or anything else we own. Our lunches are not hot and beautiful waiting for us at home. We eat off of paper plates. We talk about war and poverty, dams and children. We are just a little odd most of the time. We are not always smiling and cheerful, but most of the time we at least show up. We know that God asks us to do certain things in faith. He promises us life after death. He promises that His way is the best, and that He will never leave us or forsake us. There is nothing lovely in us, and yet He knows us and loves us.

When I got home Noel had posted this as her facebook status: "If (the resurrection) really happened, giving up is simply not an option, because if bodily death is reversible, so are all the other little deaths we suffer in life. If it really happened, hope is not a delusion, but the driving power of abundant life." ~ Dr. Peter Leithart I know I must have heard this during the service, but somehow it is sticking much better in writing. Well that is the end of my deep thinking for today, the kids are home and someone needs toilet paper.