Good Work

Once upon a time, I wondered if I should have my large family of four close together, or should I have them several years apart?  I must have concluded that they should be close together.  Somewhere along the line four grew to five, seven was the perfect number, and now here we are with nine spanning eleven years.  I would  not recommend this plan to others, but it is what God has given me.  I was pondering this dilemma last night and thinking how different life would be with just my oldest three girls.  The reality is, that I like to have all of my time full.  If I start getting comfortable and feeling a little too easy I start looking for something else to take on.  It would have felt just as harried with three as I do with nine, but I probably would have wasted a lot more time and energy.

I have been feeling guilty about the kids that have gotten the least amount of "mom time."  My sweet Ed is stuck right in the middle.  She is very sweet, quiet, self contained, and low maintenance.  God knew that is what I needed.  She is right after K-man, who has always been driven, and Soso who is on the go all. the. time.  She will ask me to read with her, hang around for a while, and then just drift off to color in her room or play outside.  I keep writing on my to do list "read with Ed" but it just keeps not getting done.  BK also tends to be quiet and unassuming.  She needs to be pitching in around the house more than she does, but she has the good sense to stay out of the line of sight.  By the time I track her down I can't remember why I was looking for her.  She is getting away with way too much.

I know that God has a way of leveling the playing field.  I pray diligently that He will fill in the gaps I am leaving in my parenting.  It just takes a lot of time to fill all of these love tanks, and stomachs.  I pretty much hit the ground running in the morning, snuggling kids while I drink my coffee and read my Bible.  It is a whirlwind getting everyone off to school.  The mornings right now are filled with helping Jubilee adjust to a family and English.  She takes a lot of time and attention.  The afternoons are time to spend with Omega and Nes and get dinner started.  As soon as school is out it is a marathon of snacks, homework, driving, dinner, catching up with everyone's day, getting started on prepping for the next day and finally dropping into bed, usually with one or two kiddos until I can boot them out.  For an introvert this is all I can do.  My friends are neglected, my yard is neglected, I don't remember what "deep cleaning" is.  I hope it is just a season, although it feels like it has lasted for at least a decade, and none of my older friends have sounded very encouraging.

The great thing about all of this craziness is that it is good work.  I love the people I serve, every single one of them.  They are growing up into delightful people that I love to be around.  I feel like I am being completely used up, which is actually a good thing.  This is the work I want to be doing for eternity.  I love teaching them to read, to ride bicycles, to sing, to draw, to be patient during difficult times, to be gracious winners and losers.  I love watching them grow and wondering what they will be as they continue to move onward and upward.  It is an exciting job, and I can't imagine doing anything else.