Scars

I'm discovering that while time heals all wounds, it doesn't remove the scars.  In God's providence I mentioned my weekend plans, which include my husband going to a friend's funeral, to another friend while we waited for our children after school.  She gave me a knowing look, and told me about an incident in her past.  I had no idea.  I gave her a huge hug, and told her how sorry I was.  This was a good while back for her, but it brought the pain right to the surface.  She called to check in on me, and now I know how I can pray for her.  I would have had no idea had God not given an opportunity for her to minister to me.

I had made a very dumb comment to my pastor about Americans not having many reasons to grieve.  God has sure shoved those words right down my throat this week.  First of all He reminded me of the grief that this pastor had suffered not too long ago, and then the week unfolded more grief than I have had to deal with in a few years.  I guess we are just better at making it look good, even when we are hurting inside, or maybe we don't talk about it because it makes others uncomfortable.  This life is surely full of pleasure as well as pain.  I was also reminded that everyone grieves differently.  The same event will bring a much different response in everyone involved. 

I remember reading A Grief Observed, and C.S. Lewis explaining why it was A Grief Observed and not Grief Observed.  Grief looks very different in each person.  I have found many books on situations that have caused grief and how the author has dealt with it, but very few on grieving itself. The underlying principle I am finding for Christians, is to not mourn without hope.  We need not to lose sight of our saviour in our grief.  He was a man of sorrows, who bore our sorrows for us and rose victorious over them all.  We live in Him.  Our grief may be many years here, but this life is short and eternity is long.  Our victory over death is that we are born twice to die once, that death will not be the end, but the ultimate beginning.  Sometimes the truth of that is crushing because death is final.  While we live we have hope of redemption, but once we pass that point our end is sure.  It is there we have to be thankful that God has mercy.

I am also seeing that Jubilee understands much of this truth much better than I do.  She has suffered in the depths of her soul.  She knows that tomorrow the sun will rise no matter how much she wishes it wouldn't.  She knows that terrible days are followed by another day, that God has a plan for us and it is not finished until He says it is.  She knows that she can and will go on.  The trick will be teaching her to live a victorious life in light of this truth and not to wallow in the grave.  Eternal life begins here.  The work we start here will follow us into eternity.  Our music pastor keeps reminding us that we know we will be singing in Heaven, so let's get to it now.  That is a good place to start.  It seems silly, but it works.  Jubilee has had many rainy days, so I need to point out that the sun is shining and that it is good.  For any of you out there who are in the rainy days, you are not alone.  You just never know what the person next to you might also have suffered in their lives.  Grief is uncomfortable, but it is a part of life, and it is part of the burden that we bear for one another.