Straight Up the Middle

The last couple of days have been very good.  Jubilee has been through some rough periods, but I stuck with her and I think she trusts me more.  She asked me today why I took her from Ethiopia.  I'm never quite sure what she wants to hear, so I give her the truth.  She is old enough, and has seen enough in her life to be able to take what I have to tell her.  I told her that I loved her.  That when she was in Ethiopia she didn't have a family to take care of her anymore.  Her friends were being adopted and were coming to America.  When she turned 18 she would be out of the orphanage, she would have very little education and no where to live.  I told her that I wanted her to have hope.  I wanted to give her a family, an education, I wanted to be able to love her and protect her.  I didn't want to take Ethiopia away from her, I wanted to add to it.

I've told her several times that she will have the opportunity when she is an adult to choose to go back to Ethiopia.  She does not have to stay here forever, she can choose to return if that is what she wants to do.  She is still wrapping her mind around that concept.  The first time we talked about it she panicked.  She thought she had to leave when she turned 18.  I explained that she is welcome to stay as long as she wants, but that when she is 18 she will legally be an adult.  I think this both scares and thrills her.

I get the impression that most people have not been completely open with her.  Maybe they thought it would be too hard, or maybe they were protecting themselves.  She told me tonight that she is happy when I answer her questions.  I told her I was happy that she was happy.  She seems to have much more peace when she knows why things were done, and what it means for her.  Even though she is not in control of the situation, at least she understands that decisions were made because we thought it was best for her.  I think she is starting to see that she has someone watching her back.

Days like this give me hope.  I see that she is starting to feel at home here.  She is still conflicted about things sometimes.  She stills sees being at home here, as giving up her home there.  Change is a tough thing, especially permanent changes.  Prayer has been a wonderful balm for her soul.  When I see things sinking I can take her hand and go to the Lord.  When we approach Him together it brings peace immediately.  He truly is a God who brings new life out of death.