Embracing the Unexpected

This summer has not gone quite the way I had planned.  I have learned to hold my plans very loosely, since the unexpected has a way of popping up in my life on a regular basis.  I was finding myself annoyed with Jubilee this morning because she was having a tantrum about her new puppy.  This puppy should be named Faith, because he is testing both of ours.  He is a sweet little guy, but he has brought out all kinds of crazy emotional responses in Jubilee, and he is costing me a fortune.  God has quite a sense of humor, and I know that this dog is being used by Him.

I have been really distracted by all of the life happening around me.  I keep losing focus on what the main thing is.  Yesterday my friend Shawn posted a little quote by J.C. Ryle on Facebook.  The gist of it was, that anything that gets between me and God needs to be let go.  It may be a good thing, but if it is taking my mind off of the Lord then the Lord needs to replace it.  I have spent a lot of time thinking about the kid's activities, and thinking about how to help Jubilee.  I need to keep my eyes on the Lord, and follow His cloud before me, no matter how crazy His sense of direction looks to me.  I need to shut off the noise and listen for the still small voice telling me which way to go.  This summer the way has been pretty curvy, but I am trusting that it is going somewhere wonderful.

At the beginning of the summer, as I was reading a lot of books on attachment, and working through childhood trauma, I realized that God was taking me into some possibly dark days.  I need to be sure that I stay in the light.  Whatever darkness needs to be chased away, it needs to be replaced by marvelous light.  I need to stay in God's Word.  I need to be regular in my prayers.  I need to seek out music, beauty, laughter, things that reveal God's goodness and who He is.  I need to make more time for art, and conversations with friends.  These things keep me in the light.

I need to remember to avoid letting cheap substitutes creep in.  I need to let my desire to control things that are not mine control go.  If I am putting my planner, or my budget, or my email before God and my family then I need to let them go.  I might miss an appointment, but I might heal a wound.  I might run into my line of credit, but I might save a life.  I need to be thankful to God for each surprise and remember that they are brought by Him.  He knows my budget of time, money, patience, energy, love, all of the resources He has given me.  I need to have faith right up to the edge of whatever cliff he calls me to.  If He calls me to jump off, He must have a plan for meeting me at the bottom.

Most of the time the options are really pretty simple.  I can choose life, or I can choose death.  Life is surprising.  It is unexpected, and wild.  It comes when we don't plan for it.  It can leave before we are ready.  No matter what our illusions of control are, it is out of our hands, and always has been.  We can choose death, but only once.  Once that choice is made there is no turning back.  I was explaining this to Jubilee this morning.  She was feeling trapped in her lack of control.  Once I boiled it down to the logical end of the choices she gave me she calmed down.  She realized that this is not the life she had chosen, but that all things considered, it was the best she could imagine right now.  It is a good reminder to be thankful for what we have today.  It may not be all that we dream we deserve, but it is certainly better than what we really deserve.

I am content today to take whatever God brings me.  Whether it is a fender bender with my car, a lost mail key to my PO box, a puppy with a broken leg, a big bonus at work,or a gift in the mail, it is all from God's hand and it is for my own good, especially when I don't think it looks like it is good.