I don't want to...

We have been having a case of the "I don't want tos" around our house lately.  The symptoms are bad attitudes, back chat, general sullenness, avoidance, and creative excuses, sometimes accompanied by tears.  The cause can be almost anything, getting out of bed, cleaning their room, going to appointments, practicing for anything.  I did a little self check this morning to see if the root of the problem is seeing it so beautifully displayed before them each day.  This is where I need to have close relationships with friends and family who aren't afraid to say, "Yes, your attitude has been dismal."  Thankfully I also have a God that can bring to my mind little snippets of conversations, actually said or only pondered that would have resulted in a lecture from me had it been in one of my children's heads and not my own.  Are you following me?

I even have one daughter that will grumble about why I spend so much time making them do things when I don't do it.  Those are the comments I need to run through and see where the element of truth is.  Yes, I don't run 10 miles, not because I don't desire to, but because I am trying to keep up with them and they are already too far ahead of me.  There are things I don't want to do, but they are mostly in the realm of making my kids do the things they don't want to do.  I don't want to go downstairs and see the bathroom and remind the girls that they need to clean it up every couple of days or so.  I get the blank look, the slouched shoulders, she response that "I cleaned it last," or the scuttle as they go find something that looks productive to do.  I don't want to see that, I would rather just clean the bathroom for them.  If I did, the bathroom would be clean, really clean in half the time it will take me to get them to do it at all, let alone well.  But that is not what I need to do.  I need to help them learn to obey, right away, all the way, with a good attitude, everyday.  I need to make sure that my attitude is good in the process which is usually where I run into the ditch.

I had a monologue this morning with one daughter about taking small steps to learn how to do things that lead to bigger steps, that lead to joy in the job.  Life is work.  There is really no way around it.  Food needs to be grown, and made.  Rooms need to be picked up and tidied.  School needs to be done. Attitudes need to be checked.  Beds need to be gotten out of so that we can make them, so that they will be a joy to fall into at the end of the day.  I know that this borders on blasphemy in our culture, but I know it to be true.  He who doesn't work, doesn't eat, really.  He may eat until his parents realize their error and kick his lazy butt out of the house, but at some point it will all be real to him.  My work, that I don't want to do, is to believe that this is true, and making it real to my children now, while they are young, so that it will go well with them in the land.  Things will be less efficient for a while, and attitudes will be less than pretty, mine included unless I stick close to God, but it needs to happen.  I had to write this down so that I can read it to myself every morning.  Thanks for bearing with me.