Lovin' em when they're losing

Setting reasonable goals is proving to be a challenge around our house.  Jubilee has been working on mastering spelling.  It is difficult for her to differentiate vowel sounds.  She is doing just fine by my standard, and I am very proud of her.  She however, gets very frustrated when she misses a word.  I told her that I didn't care if she got the word correct, I just wanted her to try to hear the sound and write it down.  It has taken me a couple of weeks to convince her that it is really okay to get a less than perfect score.  Her teacher has also pointed out that none of her classmates have been getting perfect scores either, but that is not the goal she has set for herself.  Mads has also set a high standard for herself in cross country.  I told her that I am every bit as proud of her as I am of BK.  I don't care if she places in the top 3 or the top 10 or the bottom 10, I care that she hangs in there and has a good attitude.  I am very glad that my children have set high standards for themselves, I just want them to keep their good attitudes when they miss that mark.

It made me think of the many ways that I set a higher standard for myself than God does.  Yes, He calls us to be holy as He is holy, but I miss that mark.  Sometimes I miss the mark that God has set, and sometimes I set the standard a little bit higher and get upset when I don't meet my artificial standard.  We are all called to be hospitable.  I get caught up thinking that I need to make a three course meal with candles and centerpieces, when really pizza and a smile would be just fine.  I spend so much time trying to meet my expectations that I forget to be obedient.  Sometimes my obedience may look like a failure to someone on the outside.  Maybe my dinner wasn't delicious, or my spelling test wasn't perfect, or I didn't run 5K in 19 minutes, in the end what matters is that I tried.  In my trying I also need to keep a smile and be able to laugh at myself.  I have had my fair share of dinners where I got so caught up in talking with my guests that I forgot half of the meal.  It is a personality quirk I need to work on, which mostly means the food had better be done by the time the guests arrive.  They have all been gracious and said they had a great time, even if they did miss dessert.

Keeping the standard reasonable is difficult, especially in a world where so many people excel at so many things.  I start to keep my standard by "the Joneses" instead of keeping my standard by Jesus.  I need to remember that the only judge that I should worry about is Christ, and He is far more gracious than I am.  I keep reminding my kids that I am the one that is "lovin' em when they are losing."  Their losses in the grand scheme of things are gains for Christ.  They are learning to be compassionate.  They have learned to be humble and to work hard and cheer on their teammates.  They are learning not to make fun of other people who struggle in some area of their lives.  I am learning that I need to let go of my artificially high standards as well.  I can have people over even if we have to sit on my deck and look at my dried up lawn and kid's toys.  I can send my kids to school with most of their uniform and not worry too much about the pink slip they will bring home.  As long as we are loving our neighbors, doing our best to meet the standards, and able to smile when we fall down, we are working our way up to those standards at our own pace.