Today's List

I have been thinking a lot about being thankful for the hard things.  I remember when I was walking through a particularly dark time, our pastor told us we had to remember from whose hand the trouble came.  I had to find a way to be thankful for horror that had entered my life.  At the time I took it in faith, that God would use it for our good.  I kept telling God I was thankful for many things around the heart of the issue, but really, did I have to be thankful for all of it?  Looking back I can see that God has used this trial to tear away things in my life that needed to be torn away.  I had to be wounded, so that I could be healed.  I had to see how deep forgiveness could go.

I have also been thinking about adoption.  I wish I could gush about how wonderful it is, and how it is something everyone should do.  I have to tell you it is hard.  It is not for the faint of heart, or those looking for an easy way to grow a family.  Our first adoption seemed so easy.  We got this sweet little boy, who transitioned really well, it was a piece of cake.  We dove into our second adoption.  We got this beautiful pre-teen girl.  She is such an amazing testimony to me of God's abundant grace.  We are working together to be thankful for the hard things.  Adoption for her has been a hard providence.  She misses her brother and sisters terribly.  She is not thankful for winter.  She wishes she could see her friends in the states more often than she does.  She struggles.  She knows that her life is better in many ways, but her little sister is still annoying, and learning to read English is tough.  That doesn't mean I would change any of what we have done, it just means I know that it is new life out of very dark places.  It is painful to give birth, no matter how it happens.  It is one thing to be thankful for hard Providences in your own life, but being thankful for hard Providences in your children's lives is graduate school level grace.  It is on your knees faith.

One of my favorite hymns ever is God Move in a Mysterious Way by William Cowper.  My friend mentioned it to me in an email today.  How did she know I had been reading this, and meditating upon it? Great minds think alike.  I am very thankful for these words:

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

#167-185

Sunshine warming my back as I sit at the table for lunch.

A father keeping mementos from his sons' childhood, and remembering those years with joy.

An elderly couple riding their bikes up our hill.

Pushing children on the swings at recess.

Giving a child a hug after she had donated a little more skin to the rough surface of our playground.

Tired directors of our school plays.

Friends with really good birthday gift ideas, even if it was a day late.

Patient Realtors, who give wise counsel.

Friends to have dinner with while Rick is out of town, and I have to be out of our house.

Little boys excited to spend the afternoon with Nina.

The smell of freshly laundered clothes.

Sunny days, when kids can finally play outside with the rest of the neighborhood kids.

Bare white skin getting it's first glimpse of the spring sun.

Giving gifts made by friends, to other friends, and being reminded of them both every time I see the gift.