Every careless word

Several of my besetting sins have to do with my tongue.  I have pondered ripping it out of my mouth, but then I would still be able to blog, and I would not be able to taste, the trade-off seems not to be worth it.  I have been noticing that certain sins keep coming up in conversation, which usually means God is trying to get a little message through my very thick skull.  As usual, if those of you out there who actually see me at the grocery store and taking my kids to school, see that I am not seeing clearly, please pull me aside and let me know that I am a bit off.  Be kind.

First of all my tongue tends to be very sharp.  I know this because I hear echos of it around my home.  I know that these are sparks sent out from the fire in my mouth and I can't expect them to go out until I get a grip on my yapper.  I find myself sharply telling them not to be so sharp with one another.  Really how effective is that?  When I catch myself, hang my head and ask them to forgive me for cutting them down with my tongue, it is much more sobering for us all.  There are times I wonder if it is too late for me to turn the tide in my home.  I am not dealing with toddlers anymore, I am dealing with very near grown-ups.  It breaks my heart to think I have come this far and still fail so miserably.

"On the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak."  Matt 12:36  This verse brings me up short of breath every time I read it.  How many careless words do I let fly when I am tired, or irritated, or hot, or hungry?  I try not to count them.  I have let them fly, and in the midst of it, wondered why I don't just shut up.  I do shut up faster than I used to, but not nearly fast enough.  I cannot tell you how many times I leave a conversation thinking I should have walked away from it long before I did.  I have made many phone calls asking for forgiveness for sharing something I should not have.  Nancy Wilson wrote this very succinct, and convicting article in the last edition of Credenda Agenda, (I tried to find the link but couldn't, if you want to read it email me and I will send it to you).  I read it, and then carried it right down to where all my girls were sitting.  I asked them to forgive me for oversharing about them.  They all got wide eyed and asked, "What did you tell people?"  I assured them it was  no particular new situation, but just a recognition that I tend to this sin, and I will consciously try to keep it in check.  They looked relieved, I mean honestly, they know where my besetting sins are.

Then of course, there is this little blog of mine.  Yes, I want to be real.  I want people to know that I am not out here promoting how perfect our happy home is.  We are happy most of the time, but we have lots of bumps to cover with love.  I want to keep myself in perspective.  I want my kids not to take themselves too seriously.  We do our best to love our neighbors, but really we love ourselves first and foremost, all of us struggle with this.  I think it is helpful for others parenting alongside us to know that there are slammed doors in almost all homes from time to time, but I don't want my kids to walk around wondering if I am going to post every embarrassing moment on my blog.  I want them to enjoy reading my blog, and not be ashamed.  If I am going to have someone laughed at or tsked at here, it should be me.

The problem with all of these words is that they do their damage so quickly.  I let some hurtful word fly, and there is no taking it back, the damage is done.  I tell a story intending it to be helpful to the hearer, but they hear it another way, or pass it on another way and I have no control over it.  I need to grow in grace in this area.  I need to make sure my words are necessary, kind, and few.  If I keep running those words through my head, it will save me from a world of hurt, and probably make me a lot more pleasant to be around.

I do want to share this one little story that happened recently.  My sweet Martha was chatting with her Dad, when she said, "nobody takes care of me!"  She didn't realize that I could hear everything she was saying.  I was surprised at how much that little comment hurt me.  I came out of the other room and asked her to look me in the eyes.  She didn't want to, she knew she shouldn't have said it.  I took the opportunity to tell her that I had been thinking about her, praying for her, planning for her, learning about her for at least a year before she even knew my name.  I shared with her how much time I spend each day thinking about how to encourage her, and bless her.  My whole life is about taking care of her.  I told her that she had hurt my feelings.  I told her that I knew she hadn't meant to, but that she had.  It was a good opportunity for me to tell her I love her, and that her words do matter.  It was good for me to be on the receiving end of careless words, and to be forgiving in the midst of it.  I have some kids who are hurt by words far more than sticks and stones.  It is good to keep this foremost in my mind.  "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.  Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."  James 1:26-27  Anyone else find it interesting that we quote verse 27 so often, but skip 26?

1010-1018

Sprinklers

Sleeping under the stars

Flashlights

Meeting new folks at church

Proud parents bragging on their daughter

People doing all kinds of different jobs for the glory of God

Love that conquers rage

Bearing one another's burdens

Harvest

New families being formed Saturday after Saturday