As Real As It Gets

It's September, crazy.  The school year has begun.  It didn't take long to figure out that these new apps that allow parents to see when kids don't turn in assignments, or do really poorly on them are really cool, for parents.  Kids hate them, almost as much as they hate Disney's Circle.  Embrace technology my friends, you can't beat them, but you can occasionally ruin their day.  I have one kid who thought he was pretty cool disabling his find friends app, but he was also really proud of using Snapchat.  I discovered the bonus of Snapchat having the map feature, HeeHee.  All I'm saying is that back in my day there wasn't the prolific social media and internet porn, but it was a whole lot easier to be lost in the woods and really mean it.  Life was simpler, but I could still be up to no good and get caught.

Martha is off adventuring in Ethiopia.  Today she realized she might want to stay for a longer period of time.  I am so glad that she is back home in her own country and loving it.  Unfortunately she has hit the wall of not actually being an Ethiopian citizen anymore.  I'm trying to make it clear to her what she can and cannot legally do, and at the same time assure her that we can pursue changes to life that will enable her to be in Ethiopia more, just not right this second.  Adulting is so obnoxious sometimes.  I hope she makes wise choices, but I have to wait and see.

One of the reasons I have stopped blogging regularly is because I have realized that it is so easy to give people the wrong impression on blogs.  One things I hate in life is insincerity.  Be who you are, even on your blog.  That is so much easier said than done, especially when you are processing stuff that involves your family, or church, or co-workers, or neighbors.  I want to be me, but I also want to love others, so I don't need to give out all the details.  This leads people to perceive things that are not actually the way I perceive them, which makes me uncomfortable. 

At this point I think everyone has stopped reading this blog, so I'm probably safe.  Just in case, I am not the world's greatest parent, or even a very good one on many days.  I am self centered, sarcastic, insensitive, sometimes depressed, not a regular exerciser, I have trouble keeping cookies in my house, I spend more money than is prudent, mostly on me.  I am not perfect with my grammar. I yell. I swear. I eat too many sweets. I drink wine more often than people around admit to, but less than people in France admit to. I do have feelings, but the one that is seen most often is anger.  I am in need of a t-shirt that says "I am not mean."  I am still struggling with being mean.  Mean works for me when trying to motivate mostly grown people that have in their heads that they can live with me forever enjoying the comforts of home, but not actually doing any work at home.  They do great work for other people, but the term chore causes them to freeze or jump in their cars and find paying gigs.  And by mean I mean not willing to let people not deal with their crap.  If there is crap going on, I will point it out and offer to start digging in with you.  This apparently is frowned upon in this society so I am considered mean.  Whatever.

If you are still reading this blog, I hope this is not news to you.  My kids are now all teens or adults.  None are in jail, at the moment.  As far as I know none have been to jail, although one is on a first name basis with the local police department.  I am hoping it is a lesson learned, but the fat lady is far from singing.  Most are employed, which is a mixed blessing.  My very high standards for education, church things, dress codes, vocabulary and a lot of other "suit yourself" categories have probably fallen in the eyes of those who once thought I was thinking just like they did.  I have a high regard for those things, but not higher than the people I am trying to lead into loving them.  Sometimes you need to lower the standard and let people fail so that they can find their own standard.  I have faith in God and His infinite wisdom, more than I did when I thought I could make them love Him.  I still love reading.  I try to eat less and move more, but my butt hurts so bad today I may take a rest weekend, which means the call of the goodies needs to be drowned out with some serious prayer.  I'm trying to cut down on my coffee intake.  Cold brew is another word for amped up addiction to a legal stimulant.  Pray for me.  I am hoping that I will have some quiet time to write.  Every time I think I can make writing a habit again, something comes in demanding my attention.  We will see.