No Easy Answers

Unless we recognize that behind the altruistic veneer, international adoption has become an industry—one that is often highly lucrative and sometimes corrupt—many more adoption stories will have unhappy endings. Unless adoption agencies are held to account, more young children will be wrongfully taken from their families. And unless those desperate to become parents demand reform, they will continue—wittingly or not—to pay for wrongdoing. “Credulous Westerners eager to believe that they are saving children are easily fooled into accepting laundered children,” writes David Smolin, a law professor and advocate for international adoption reform. “For there is no fool like the one who wants to be fooled.”

This is the final paragraph from an article in Foreign Policy on international adoption, Titled "The lie we love". It is a hard, honest article. In the interest of fairness I have to admit at times I wonder if we are doing the right thing. I would like to think that living with us is better for N, than living in an orphanage in Ethiopia. Is it right for me to think that I can give him all of the things that he needs to be a healthy and whole man? There are so many things that I do not know. I don't know if N has living parents. I don't know how he came into the orphanage. I do know that he is HIV+, but I don't know if his parents know that. I don't want to be someone that goes to Ethiopia to take away their children, and to think that they are better off because I have more material wealth than they do. These are things that I have thought about. There are still no easy answers.

I have seen many wonderful adoption stories. I have read about happy healthy people that were adopted internationally. The stories are as varied as the people that have lived them. I believe that N will have a good life with us. I hope that God will bless him in many ways. I hope that we will be able to instill a love for Ethiopia, his people, in him. I just cannot say that I know what is best. I cannot say that this system is perfect and that everything will work out well. I cannot say that for any of my children. I don't know God's plan for any individual. I trust that God has called me to this plan at this time, and I leave the results in His hand.

I am coming to believe more and more that it is best for children to be raised in their native land if at all possible. I am very grateful that through this process I have learned about programs that help families to care for their children. Children's Heaven is a program in Ethiopia that helps young girls stay in school and live with extended family. AAI has several programs, such as Dessie's dream that help children get their educations and live with their extended families. AHOPE is starting a community program to provide food, and medication to HIV+ children so that they can stay with their families. The Livesay's in Haiti are educating women to help them provide for their children and get out of abusive relationships. Each of these programs is working to keep children in their countries to build a future.

As I wait to go to Ethiopia to get N, I realize that bringing him here will involve many hard issues. I pray that this is the best solution for him. I also pray that God will open my eyes to the poor and needy in my neighborhood. And that I will find ways to support these programs in foreign lands and the people who have devoted their lives to caring for the afflicted.