I've been struggling lately with many things. One is a flu virus that I'm finding hard to shake. One result of that is that I don't get out much. When I miss church it leaves me a bit depleted. We have a wonderful worship service that really "feeds" the soul. When we are sick and miss that it leaves me spiritually hungry. Add that to my physical weakness and things just get difficult.
I have also been reading about cultural breakdowns. It has left me feeling overwhelmed by the work that I have to do. Overwhelmed physically with the needs of the people that I live with, and overwhelmed with how to make things right in the little area that God has given me to work with. Overwhelmed also with this wonderful new person that has joined our happy throng. He is so amazing. God has been so kind to us. He gave us a new son, who loves us, who teaches us, who wonders at so many things. He is discovering new delights everyday.
I hesitate to share my struggles on this blog for a couple of reasons. One is that it is hard to articulate all that is going on in my head and my heart. Which leaves readers with a sense of things that isn't really quite accurate. I'm not depressed, I'm not complaining, I'm trying to sort through emotions and thoughts that are difficult to express. Please extend grace and know that there is joy in my weakness. There is a time for lightness in life and a time for heaviness. God is working in me. I would appreciate prayer, but not for "happiness," but more for a sense of purpose and strength. I love my blog, and find it very helpful for working through things. I have found that my friends get a glimpse into my head that makes them uneasy. Rest assured I am doing fine. I would love to have coffee when I am not afraid that I will pass this plague on to you.
I have found that God does amazing things in our lives through difficult circumstances. Things right now are going well in our home. We are making some changes in strategy with our kids, and with our management team. I think we have caught a glimpse of what our purpose is. It is not small, and it requires faith. In our weakness God shows His strength.
Life in a small town with a large family. Trying to put God on display.
5 comments:
I think when there is great love there is also great responsibility to those you love. I know as a mom it weighs on my heart everyday how am I going to make it better for my sons when they get home. How am I going to deal with some of the cultural obstacles and raise healthy children.
I know that God will lead you!
Praying for you! Get better!
The responsibility of parenting lots of children is significant. I get weighed down just by the number of decisions I have to make! What we both face is sobering and challenging, but not bad or depressing.
Is there any chance you have a lingering parasite and not the flu? Just a thought.
Coffee sounds good, and some playtime for the little ones.
Lisa
Yes, coffee and playtime whenever you are up to it!! Praying!!!!!
Thanks for being so truthful. I love when my blogger friends come out like that. Its totally great because many of us never have the guts to do that. And just about everyone goes through these or different phases in life. Just one huge piece of advice. Our church has the sermons on line. Maybe you should tell your pastor to do it on line. But if you do miss and he doesn't have it on line, maybe your husband could bring a recorder to church. I know I feel the same way, I just get so feed from the sermons and I feel depleted if I miss just one because they are all good. Sending you gigantic hugs from 6 hours away.
Maybe because of you I will come out of the dark with all my probs I am facing with my specific child living here.
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