After listening to a very inspiring sermon on Sunday, I felt fully ashamed of myself. I have been wallowing in the grave. I have been waking up in the morning, stepping out of bed onto my clothes from the following day, stumbling to the coffee pot, and hoping that I will make it through one more day. I have been white knuckling it.
Our pastor reminded us that we should not leave church thinking of all the things I'm not going to do. Which was hilarious, since he caught me mid thought of "I'm not going to continue to use that harsh tone..." Jesus doesn't ask us to grin and bear it, He asks us to follow Him. He has risen from the grave to new life, He calls us to live. I need to start thinking about what I am going to do. I am going to get up and make my bed. I am going to read my Bible every morning, and thank God for another day. I am going to give my husband a kiss before he goes to work. I am going to tell my kids that they are doing well. I am going to feed my family. I am going to encourage Jubilee to press on.
I can see that I have been trying to manage my life far too much. When I try to map everything out on paper it all falls apart. God has given me a faith sized family. He has called me to service 24/7. I cannot do it alone, and sticking close to Him is the only option. I have managed to stay in the Word, and I believe it, but then I look up and wonder how it can be. It's a mystery, but I know that it works. God has provided all that I have needed, I need to live there. I don't know how I am going to manage this summer or next school year, but God does. I just need to follow Him today and let tomorrow worry about itself. Maybe someday He will let me see a little further out, but today I know that He has all that I need. I am going to be thankful for the rain, thankful for the pre-schoolers that need to eat every two hours, thankful for the tears that are shed, and the repentance that they bring. God is big enough to cover all of our sin, and to let love come pouring out of my fingertips.
Life in a small town with a large family. Trying to put God on display.
4 comments:
Thank you! Everyday I wake up thinking if I just got a little more organized, had a better schedule, got up earlier, managed that child better, remember the meds on time better, did this and did that....
Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
Encouraged.
Beautiful, encouraging thoughts. You're right, I need to listen to that sermon. Maybe you could post a link to it?
Lisa
I am so glad you have a great pastor with sermons that are convicting and you take them to heart. I also think that time is a huge factor. I bet things will look much better in the summer and the fall.
I read this post to a mom's bible study that Rachel and I are in in Wenatchee and it was so encouraging to each of us! Thank you for putting all those sticky thoughts into words :) I asked who there felt like they were white knuckling it and All of them gave me a hearty "AMEN!!". Great post!!
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