Broken Cisterns

"For My people have committed two evils:  They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns - broken cisterns that can hold no water." Jer. 2:13

I have been clinging to this verse for the past couple of days.  I have needed that fountain of living water just to get from one hour to the next.  It is tempting to start looking for cisterns, but I know that they are all empty.  God has brought me to the place of complete dependence on Him.  I can "get organized" all that I want, it won't get me through the day.  I do not schedule the meltdowns, or the squabbles, or the illnesses that come into my life.  They are all gifts from God.  He gives me what I need, not what I want.  Sometimes this blog is my cistern.  I think I have something nifty to say, and my mind goes blank, or it doesn't come across at all like I thought it should.  None of my attempts to pull myself together move me up at all.  It is when I fall flat on my face and let the Lord know I am finished that He lifts me up and puts things right.

Today I am overwhelmed at the grief that my children are bearing.  I know that I am to bear their burdens with them, but right now it feels like it is too much.  Some of the burdens they aren't aware of yet, but I am.  I know I need help, but I don't yet know where that help will come from.  My resources are limited, but my God's are not.  I am trusting Him to provide.  I am trusting that He is capable of healing their wounds.  I know that suffering is all a part of His plan, that it builds our character and fits us for His kingdom.  I know it.  I know it is all for good, but it is tough stuff.  It hollows me out, and strips me of anything that I might cling to for help.  It brings me to Jesus.  I am so grateful that at the end of my rope, He is there to walk with me.  It gives me great assurance that He is there for my children as well.  He must love them deeply to have let them suffer with Him and to give them new life.

I have been praying that I will be a fountain of living water for them.  That I will live by the Spirit before them so that they will have something to follow.  I am hoping that they see how committed I am to them, but ultimately how committed I am to Christ.  It is an awesome task, an impossible task, unless I let those living waters run through me from God.  It is easy to let my quiet time slip by.  It is easy to get angry and lose my joy.  It is easy to listen to all of the discouraging messages around me. If I stop, be still and know that He is God, that Jesus died so that I may live in newness of life, then I can love my children in the Spirit.  Then I can be thankful for every spill, for every spat, for every tantrum, for every dent, for every opportunity to forgive, to heal, to love.  Then I can see my family through God's eyes, through faith.  I can have joy in the hard work that produces such beautiful fruit.  I know that God keeps His promises, and His promises are glorious.