It Takes a Village

I know that not everyone agrees on what it means to have a village to help raise children, but the more children I have the more I understand that it is not a task that I am called to alone.  I am still reading through The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, by Bruce Perry.  He has mentioned several times that having extended family around can make the difference between a healthy childhood, and a neglectful childhood.  The lack of extended family network is a big part of the orphan crisis around the world.  Extended families can supply extra support, both physically and mentally that parents need.  These networks have been destroyed by famine, disease, upward mobility and individualism among other things.  The results have been disastrous for many children.

On a personal level I can see that we are missing out on things because our families live so far away.  The time that our grandparents and aunts and uncles do spend with us is precious.  We love the time we have with them, but it is never enough.  There is definitely a strain on resources when Mom and Dad, or just Mom, or just Dad are running the show.  I get grumpy when I am the one meeting every need and the end of the line of needy people is nowhere in sight.  I find myself grumbling about our current cultural trend, instead of praying like I should be.  After all, that is why Jesus came, to meet the needs of the needy, and his line was endless too.

One of the things I am really trying to do with Jubilee is build a network of people that love her.  I don't want her to feel like I am the only one who cares about how she is doing.  I want her to know that there are an army of people out there praying for her, watching over her, cheering her on, and loving her.  God has blessed us with a community of people that are interested in my daughter and want to see her succeed.  Her principle and teacher have gone above and beyond what their jobs call for to help her feel safe at school, and to help her catch up with her classmates.  She has seen, that, how she feels matters to them, and she wants to please them.  Every Sunday she is prayed for from the pulpit, which is wonderful.  She has had several girls her age go out of their way to be her friend and to include her in their lives.  They have been surprisingly patient with her mood swings, and her general cultural awkwardness.  Their parents have also been very encouraging and flexible as we navigate pre-teendom.  I have even been blessed by some older adopted ladies that have been very encouraging on those tough days.  It is so delightful to see who God is bringing into my life to walk along side me as I try to raise children that will be all that God wants them to be.

Our parents have also been very gracious in adopting her into our family.  They treat she and Nes just like the rest of the kids, and enjoy spending some one on one time with them.  I know that my family is not what they had envisioned when they were looking forward to the grandparent years, but they have adjusted their expectations and are really becoming a treasure in all of our lives.  I wish we could have more and more of their time, but I realize that we take A LOT of time and energy.

Some days it feels like I need a metropolis to raise my family, but God has given me just what I need.  Sometimes I forget that I need other people, and I hunker down and try to be all things to all of my people.  Those days tend to get dark, and the kids have learned to get out of the house and hang out with the neighbor kids, thank God for them.  When I am weak, God brings in people who can give me strength. Sometimes I just need someone to take one child for a walk, or to pick someone up at some event, really I just need little hands in many places.  Sometimes I just need a cup of coffee, and shockingly I have had that cup show up at that needed moment (Thanks Heather and Pat).  Those are the moments that I realize how much this community means to me.  I realize what precious gifts God has strategically placed in my life and in my children's lives.  It makes me grateful that I am not living this life on my strength alone, I have a God in heaven, and He has placed me in a community of saints, and my children are learning that they need lots of people in their lives.  I love this little village even if summer here is only 12 weeks long.