New Do, and New Attitude

Jubilee has been asking to get her hair cut since we arrived in the States.  She has beautiful curls, and she usually likes it in a pony tail, so I wasn't sure that she really wanted it short.  It has taken us a few trims, many conversations and looking at pictures to get a cut I think we are both happy with.  There are not too many stylists in our little town that will do African hair, but there are at least two that we have been happy with.  I'm not sure what it is going to look like when it is curly, but I do know that straightening it will not take as much time.  I think her smile is genuine, and today her hair still looks great.

I asked her this morning what she thinks about adoption.  I know she hasn't been here long, so asking her now will be very different than asking her in five years.  I think it is important to consider her perspective in this process because she is still a child, but old enough to want to have some real control in her life.  I asked her what was the hardest part of being adopted.  She said that being part of a family with new brothers and sisters was hard.  She, of course, said English is hard.  I asked her if having a mom was hard.  She just gave me a big smile.  I know that she doesn't want to hurt my feelings, so I don't know if she will tell me that she doesn't like having someone control everything she does.  I know that she does not like to be corrected, she doesn't give back chat, or fight with us, she just gives the big smile and walks away.

She also told me it was hard to leave her friends.  I asked if she liked being able to talk to them on the phone, she said "not really."  That surprised me a little, but I can relate.  Talking on the phone is not nearly as fun as getting a hug, or giggling about things they do, or inside jokes that you just don't get over the phone.  I know she misses being with her friends everyday.  They were her joy, and that is irreplaceable.  I asked her if she liked having older siblings, and she said yes.  I think if she had been the oldest in our family it would have been very hard all around.  She spends a lot of time with the big girls, and I think that feels very comforting.  The little kids are annoying to her, they are little, and naughty.

She has been a trooper this summer.  It has been good to be home together as a family without too many things to distract us.  She has been tutoring at school, which is okay, but she made it clear that she would like to have next summer off.  I told her that would depend on her, and how hard she works this school year.  She is very bright, and is picking up English very well.  I am surprised by her vocabulary.  She incorporates new words quickly.  When she used confused correctly last week I congratulated her.  I think it is happening without her even noticing.  She does get confused when people talk very fast.  I told her it was okay, so do I sometimes.  It is something I need to remember when I am talking to her, slow down, and explain.  I am happy to say that she is fitting right in, and I am delighting in watching her grow.  The social worker in Ethiopia told me to give it eight months at least.  He was orphaned as well, and said that it takes time to adjust.  I know that Jubilee is a very adaptable and sweet girl.  I am very thankful to have her.