Norma

I've been thinking a bit about what it means to be an "older woman."  My grey hair is a constant reminder that I am not the young woman I think I am.  With these grey hairs come responsibilities.  I am praying a lot about what that should look like in my life.  I was thinking on this this morning, and I was reminded of a lovely older woman that I met while my husband was in graduate school.  I was a new college graduate with a new job in a new town, and I was a new Christian.  Norma was a beautiful, godly, older lady in our church, whom I noticed right away.  She was a southern lady from a long line of faithful Christians.  She had a very special spirit about her.  I asked her if she would meet with me to pray and study God's Word.  She didn't hesitate, and she met with me weekly for the two years that I lived in Minnesota.

I learned many things from her in that two years that have served me well in the rest of my life.  She told me to stay in God's Word.  It is the only thing we have to tell us who God is, and what He expects from us.  There are other ways to see God at work in the world but the Bible is the standard by which we can discern the true from the false.  When someone asks us to pray for them we will know which matters are for prayer and which ones can be settled with a good knowledge of the Bible.  She would tell people straight up that she didn't need to pray about some things they were clearly set out in the Word, and she would show them where.  I have stuck with that advice.  I try to read my Bible everyday, even if it is only a verse or two.

She was also very adamant about what a woman's role in the church was.  She had made it her policy never to teach the men.  She was asked to lead the senior Sunday school class, but she said she would only lead the ladies.  Which she did for many years.  She had them all read through their Bibles every year, and they bore much fruit for God's Kingdom.  They met with the younger ladies, and made baby items for the local hospital.  They lead a group of Hmong women in their community in learning English and learning how to live in America.  Whenever she was asked to serve at church she always said she would pray about it and talk it over with her husband.  She told me once that she had learned not to go seeking positions in the church.  If the leadership felt that you were qualified they would come to you.  She felt that too often we think we are qualified because there is a need, and it is tempting to think you are the one to fill it.  She would pray about those things, and see how God worked it out.  She was not afraid to say no if that is what she felt was best.

Her daughter-in-law told me one day that Norma had once been addicted to soap operas.  She said she realized one day that she needed to use her time and more productively and has never watched them since.  I can't even imagine Norma in front of The Young and the Restless, as she would say "deliver me!"  Maybe that is why she had committed to spending time with any young lady that God brought across her path that asked her for her time.  I was not the only young lady that she met with.  She was as faithful to me as my own mother.  I am so very grateful for having had her as a friend for those two years.

I have lost touch with Norma, but she is still a part of my life.  When I think about what an older lady should look like I often think of her.  She was meek, and gentle, but she was also firm and solid.  I remember her having a disagreement with her husband.  She didn't say anything in front of us, except that they should discuss this when they got home.  He changed his stance on that subject and had the  reasons well laid out when he explained to us why.  I'm sure it would have been a fun discussion to hear.  She had a lovely faithful family, and a quick wit.  I miss her dearly, and hope that she is still praying for me.  She is a rare jewel and I hope that by God's grace I will follow in her footsteps.