Needs Attention

Several people over the years have asked, "How can you love them all?"  It started when I had three or maybe four little children around my feet.  At the time I thought it was the most absurd question ever.  How could you not love your own children?  Is there some sort of limit on love?  I scoffed, and blew the comment off for the most part.

The thing I didn't understand at the time is that they weren't really doubting that I could love them all, but could I give the the amount of attention that love requires.  This is a valid question.  When all of my children were little it was easy to spend a lot of time with them.  They were under my feel all. the. time.  I couldn't get rid of them.  We ate all of our meals together.  When I sat down to feed a baby, I was usually surrounded by toddlers chatting away.  When I went for a walk they were all hanging on me, literally.  We shopped together, got sick together, did everything together.  It took a lot of attention.  I had the false illusion that someday they would be teens and would no longer require so much attention.  Let me tell you I was wrong.

Now that I am living with nine children ranging in age from 5 to 16 I can tell you that they all need attention, and lots of it.  They don't need me to buckle them into the car, but they need me to make sure it is full of gas and that I know where they are going.  The attention they need is different.  Most of them are no longer constantly trying to kill themselves, although occasionally that is the problem, but they need guidance and encouragement.  It is very challenging to cover all of the needs that I have in my home.  My biggest need is for rest and a chance to recharge for the next onslaught.  It is hard for someone who loves quiet to be the center of all the activity in the house.  I know God is stretching me where I need it most, and it brings me right to Him, my fountain of living water.

Once upon a time I thought I could handle all the children God could bring me.  About the time Eden came along, I realized that God could bring me a lot of children, and I just might not be that wise.  I  am content with the family that I have now, and I definitely feel like God has stretched me to the point of needing Him daily in many tangible ways.  I am realizing how much time and attention all of these young people need from me.  They need to hear that I love them every day.  Some need constant reminders that I am thinking about them and praying for them.  There are no days off on this job.  When my love starts to wear thin everyone gets a bit prickly.  It is only through Christ that I can love them all, and that I know without a doubt.  He has placed each one in our home for a very good purpose, and I am truly thankful for each and every one.  I know that they are making me a better person, by teaching me more about the gospel each day through living with them.  There are days when I wonder how my life might have been had I only had my two oldest, or maybe my four oldest.  I can tell you there are days when I look at Omega and wonder what God has in store for me with her.  I know that it will be glorious, and we will strengthen each other.  My answer to the question "How can you love them all?"  has become a more solid understanding of Christ, the root of love which I must abide in everyday.