Go Team!

I was a cheerleader in high school, don't judge, it has given me some skills that every mom needs.  Yes, the uniforms were questionable, but that also gives me some credit in the life experience department when I tell the girls to go back and change their clothes.  Ironically my dad stumbled upon a bag of my old uniforms and pom poms this weekend which was worth an hour or so of entertainment for the kids.  What valuable skills did standing on the sidelines of a football field shouting out encouragement to a bunch of sweaty guys give me you ask?  Well, it taught me to smile even when you are getting the stuffing kicked out of your team.  It also taught me that those guys need some kind words and a hug at the end of a long game.  They worked hard for some of those losses and what they achieved didn't feel very good at the time.

Sometimes being the mom means you have to watch your kids struggle with things that they are not that great at.  You have to look for the positives and try to capitalize on those.  You know you aren't going to win the game, but you have to look farther ahead and keep your kids from giving up.  You have to try to figure out what motivates them so that they will keep moving forward.  Sometimes you get an easy child that just wants cookies, and sometimes you get a shrewd child that shakes you down for things you were sure were out of the question.  These are also life skills that you should write down, they may be their biggest assets later in life.  I have one freakish child that is motivated by physical labor.  We managed to get him to brush his teeth every day by having the dentist offer to let him come work on his farm if he was consistent with his brushing between visits.  It is always good to have dentist who is willing to be creative, and owns a tractor.

One of the big challenges is when the child is internally motivated.  There isn't a whole lot you can do from the sidelines when a child just doesn't care about getting extra dessert, or losing t.v. time.  I have one child that is convinced that I set the standard for them, and they kick against it, but the reality is that they set their own standard.  I have tried to point it out to them, but they prefer to blame me for most things.  It's okay, it is part of the mom job to take the blame for most of the disappointments in life.  I am fairly certain that they will come to a point when the blinders come off and they see that the one they are fighting is really themselves.  I pray a lot for my internally motivated children, because I know that ultimately it is the Lord that will turn their hearts.  All I can do is turn them back to Him, and be willing to be the fall guy when they need one.  So far God has been abundantly gracious in this area and has given them the drive to work hard.  More often than not, they drive themselves harder than they need to and I need to encourage them to be reasonable.

Knowing how to motivate your kids takes a lot studying.  You have to pay attention to what makes your child perk up, and what makes them flop on the ground and wail.  Yesterday our two youngest children started soccer with the city parks and rec league.  One of them put on their soccer gear the minute we got home from school, finished all their homework and sat on the porch counting the minutes until we needed to go.  The other one refused to get out of their uniform, refused to eat, refused to study anything and burst into tears at the mention of time to go.  This caught me off guard and it took me a minute to figure out what in the world was going on.  Then I remembered that new things are not always met with enthusiasm in the Schumaker household.  I sat the emotional mess down and looked her in the eye and convinced her that this was going to be fun, and that no one out there was an expert in soccer.  The kid in the back bouncing up and down and asking if it was okay for him to slide tackle was no help at all.  Sometimes you need to use two opposite tactics simultaneously hoping that the kids don't catch on.  No two children are ever the same, so if you think you have it all figured out, don't get another player on the team.

Personally, I'm internally motivated so I get the challenges that I am up against.  I also get that if I'm not motivated I better channel some of Karsten's energy or we are all sunk.  I try to remember the fundamentals.  I need solid sleep, to get outside, exercise always boosts my spirits, and a nap is lovely whenever possible.  When in doubt, the prayer for help is usually quickly answered.  My motivation is to glorify God and to point everything back to Him.  I know I can't blame my mom anymore, none of my bad behavior was every her fault.  I'm not perfect, I'm often ill suited for the task at hand, but in all things the job I have I have from God and He will equip me with what I need.  I may lose the game in a big way, but I will have learned how to lose and still love to play.  I will have learned that sometimes the other team is bigger and more talented, but sometimes their not.  You win some and you lose some, blessed be the name of the Lord.  In all things look for the things you can be thankful for, because really those are what we often choose not to see.  Being thankful for little everyday miracles can be incredibly motivating.  Here are some of today's:

-ladies to pray with
-kids that got up early and helped other kids with schoolwork
-breakfast
-a beautiful sunrise
-pumpkins in the garden
-chrysanthemums blooming in the back yard
-Ferdinand purring on the couch
-a few quiet moments to write