Grace is hard

I am a peacemaker at heart.  I dread conflict and try very hard to avoid it all costs.  With a house full of children who are moving into the phase of life where they get to make many of their own decisions, conflict abounds.  I love my children.  I love their friends.  I really do, all of them.  Sure, they are a motley lot, and I fit right in.  I am being told daily that I am not being fair.  I am being told that I expect people to be perfect.  Really, I am being told that I am a crappy God and they really don't appreciate my standards.  I'm not in any way claiming to be God, but I am getting a good dose of the false accusations that are leveled against Him.  The difference is that I really am a crappy God, and He really is good and Holy.

As I review the events of yesterday, and start to question most of what I did, I realize how short I fall.  God is full of grace, and I am struggling to sprinkle some out of my plugged up nozzle.  I know people are imperfect, but I wish they would go work on that and then come back and talk to me like someone who is sane.  Oh wait, is it them or is it me?  Jesus is so much wider and deeper than I am.  Why does He give me so many opportunities to extend grace in so many different directions all at the same time?  I'm not omni-anything.  I have limits, man, slow it down!  If each day has sufficient trouble of it's own, I'm spending this morning hiding from them.  I stunk it up yesterday and this afternoon is looking ripe with trouble too.

Grace is really hard to do.  It goes against every gut instinct I have.  It isn't fair at all.  It requires me to look beyond my limits and jump with all my might into Jesus' territory and forget that I exist.  It requires me to leave fear behind.  I can't bring along my anger.  I need to trust the one who made the universe.  Why is that so stinking hard?  Do I really think my worry, anger, indignation, sarcasm, and scoffing are helping anything?  I am insane!  Grace requires me to ignore my limits and to live on God's Words.  All the imperfections around me will be made right by Him.  He doesn't require me to be perfect, He is perfection for me when I live in Him.

Hey kids, I'm not fair.  Neither is God.  He is grace, sufficient for us all.  Now let's put aside all the crazy expectations and be quick to listen and slow to anger.  I've failed you all many times over, but I'm not done.  I see it.  He died for all of us so that our imperfection, which we all have no matter how good we can make ourselves look, can be made right by Him alone.  We are all human.  We all want the best for us.  We are all in this together for better and for worse.  When Mom seems to be in crazy land, turn to God.  Pray for me.  Prayer is powerful, I do it a lot, things would be worse if I didn't.  I trust in God.  His faithfulness is forever.  I know that His grace has covered a multitude of my sins, and yours.  Our lives will never be easy or peaceful for long, struggle is part of the deal.  I love you with a very imperfect love.  I let fear creep in way too often, and I am praying about that too.  We have the same Father and He will see us through this crazy life together.