December Packages

I’m a little bet scattered today so we will see where the writing path takes me.  December has been filled with stressful accounting, schedules, relationship issues, new home glitches, but also fun activities, successful swim meets, snowy mornings and gift shopping.  To all things there are blessings and cursing.  Yesterday I got some gifts that I’m really excited to give, but it cost more than I wanted to pay.  The joy on their faces...priceless.  Great I have let advertising get into my head and convince me that poor financial decisions will make my loved ones happy! Aughhh.  I really do want to live a simple life with my people.

I have been thinking a lot about my kids and their dating situations.  Yes, we started out thinking courtship was a great idea, and in principle I think it has some really valuable principles that I would like to pursue where I can.  I want to be involved in my children’s lives, without controlling decisions and outcomes.  Figuring out healthy boundaries is so challenging.  One thing that has been happening that has not been helpful is that the siblings all want to be super in the know which hasn’t been super helpful.  It has been helpful when Rick and I at least have a clue as to what is developing before the rest of the family.  When I have my children’s friends sticking someone’s Instagram in my face asking who this person is and do I like them it is really hard to stay objective.  Some things you just can’t unsee.  I want to encourage the kids to introduce us to people of interest and give them a chance to introduce them.  I hope that will give them a chance to think about who they are meeting and how they think we will respond to them.  Social media is a petty disaster.  One of the benefits of dating people that your family already knows, is that we already have some context for people.  I am trying to lean in to relationships, even ones that are starting younger than I am comfortable with, so that I have a chance to get to know the kid’s friends and their families.  I think face to face introductions are ideal, but I realize that isn’t always possible.  I think social media meeting is the least desirable, although you get to see the unguarded side of people.

It has made me think more about my social media and what I post.  I have a very wide range of friends and acquaintances and I can’t help but offend someone at some point, but is the offense intended or accidental.  Am I provoking or being me?  If someone is offended because I am a Christian, or support hunting, or eat meat, or drink coffee or drink wine, or am a morning person, I’m actually ok with that.  Those are things that I am and I am not going to change it to make someone else more comfortable so they probably need to know that.  If that divides my people from people that are stuck on earth with me whether we agree or not then yes, that is what social media does.  It gets interesting when social networks start meshing.  I have kids who fly Trump flags, which gets some sharp words from me, and kids who have the democrats following their wandering.  We are diverse and I understand where they are coming from even if I don’t agree with their conclusions.  This makes bringing in new folks really interesting.  I am sure they don’t know what to think of us, most of the time neither do I.  As I write this it occurs to me that anyone willing to commit their life to any of my kids is one brave SOB.  We really are a package deal, and we are a loud, opinionated, diverse, fickle crowd of people that are fiercely loyal to each other.  I am praying for those special people God has chosen to join this shit show.  I try to be honest about that when I post things, which isn’t necessarily inviting.  I am wondering if the guys that have been around for a while are questioning their women, or their women’s family.  Hmmm.

The next few weeks will be full.  There will be lots of people, food, clothes, moving around, and hopefully laughter.  I don’t know how to prepare for overwhelming amounts of activity.  I’m pretty simple minded and can only handle about 4 things at a time.  I am trying to just go one day at a time.  Thinking about it is starting to make my heart race actually.  I want to make everyone feel special and cared about, but there just isn’t enough of me to do that.  The ones right in front of me get the attention and everyone else kind of slips off my schedule.  I hate that about myself.  It’s why I want to be closer to my family.  I need to be right there or I am totally disconnected.  Writing takes time, but I need it to help me find what is important amidst all the distractions.  I’m not sure this helped me get going, but I think I see why people think I’m scary.  That’s somthing.