Why Do You Whisper?

I had Jubilee spend some time with a friend this morning to see where her reading level is. As I suspected she is around a first grade level. She would not speak in an audible voice when Beth would ask her to read for her. She was very subdued, and was very emotional when she got home. Part of the emotion was due to an altercation with her sister that I had to sort out when we got home, but part was due to her anxiety about teachers. She is not sure what we are expecting of her. She wants to do well, but she knows that she doesn't know what other children her age know. She doesn't understand that we are just trying to figure out where she is so that we can help her to do better.

I asked her why she always whispers when teachers ask her questions. She told me that when she was in kindergarten she liked to talk, but the teachers told her to stop. She said that they threw her into a room when she talked too much. She has told me several times that she would be kicked at school when she did not answer correctly. I have to take all of these stories with a grain of salt. I am sure there is an element of truth to them, as well as an element of exaggeration. Whatever the truth is, she spent a lot of time at school being afraid, and trying to get out of being there at all. She would say she was sick and leave the classroom. She would sleep during class if she could. She also told me that other children would do her work for her. I don't think she took her academic career seriously.

So here she is. An eleven year old girl starting school in another country not really understanding why she needs to know all of this. She is growing in her desire to learn, but she is definitely frustrated by the amount of ground she has to make up. There are days that I am frustrated as well. I know that she will learn quickly, but will it be quickly enough to keep her from feeling stupid? She does not like the fact that her four year old siblings know their letters better than she does. It gives me a lot of empathy for people who immigrate to the US. English is not an easy language to learn, and we don't accommodate other languages very well.

I did spend a year or two trying to homeschool once upon a time. The things I learned about phonics, and handwriting, and teaching first grade math are coming in handy. God does things in mysterious ways. It is interesting for me to be able to teach her how to read, and to write, and to recognize things in English. It is all good stuff, and I am grateful for the opportunity to do something new. I just wish it were easier for her. I am very very grateful for the wealth of knowledge that we have in Moscow. There are many ladies that have homeschooled for years and faced all kinds of challenges. They have been a wonderful resource and encouragement. I think Jubilee is impressed by how much time we give to education. She sees that it is not something she will be able to avoid. It is just one more cultural hurdle to jump.