I Am Sorry

You could have knocked me over with a feather.  After an entire day of getting the cold shoulder, no eye contact, and whispered answers, my daughter came up to me and said, "Mom, I'm sorry for being so mean to you."  Tears filled my eyes and I gave her a big hug and told her that was the sweetest thing I had heard in a long time.

I had prepared myself for the oncoming storm.  All the way home from school I kept telling myself not to let her emotions bring me down.  I was NOT going to be a crab just because she was crabby.  I was going to keep my chin up and take whatever she could dish out.  We came in the door, and I asked her if she wanted help with her homework.  She shook me off, so I told her if she changed her mind to come to me.  And she did!  She came to me and made peace.  I was so thrilled.  It is amazing how one sentence can change your whole week.  I feel like we are getting somewhere.

She even told me later that she had learned bad habits.  Her brother had told her to be a good girl.  But she learned in the orphanage and at school that being a good girl wouldn't get you far.  She learned that drama queens get what they want.  You can see that at the mall anytime.  She owned it though, all by herself.  I am so proud of her.  Even now it brings tears to my eyes.

The things that I feel are important in these days of testing are not to get sucked into the emotions.  I need to stay calm ALL. THE. TIME.  Actually I find myself telling my kids to chill out often.  Everything is a huge deal to them.  I need to be the one leading the way in being calm.  I also need to remember that making them happy is not always good for them.  Sure I can cave, and get a smile, but it isn't worth it.  I need to stick to my guns.  Bed time is bed time.  Homework has to happen before facebook.  Chores are not optional.  Drama will not get you what you want.  They may think I am the mean mom until they are 25, but that is okay with me.  Those are usually the moms that have children that love them and want to be around them as adults.  Someday they will come back and thank me for being so tough.

I just wanted to sing from the rooftops.  Jubilee is awesome!  She has a beautiful heart, even if it takes a couple of days for her to let me know she still wants a mom.  I told her I love her even when she wants none of my advice, just like Jesus does.