Uphill Battles

I listened to a wonderful sermon yesterday while I picked up the house.  I laughed out loud when the pastor compared all of us and our petty agendas to kids squabbling in the back seat of the car on the way to a wonderful vacation.  THAT I can relate to.  Mine however, have been in the backseat glowering on the way to a wonderful vacation.  I have actually given a similar sermonette on the way to church, when I looked in the back seat and you would have thought, from their expressions, that they were headed to the gallows.  I reminded them how glorious church is and what a privilege it is to be there.  They weren't convinced, but they did muster up sheepish grins to make me happy.  I might have to pull out a line from my husband's childhood church days, "better here than jail."

We have been given the gift of an amazing music instructor at our church.  He offers music classes pro bono, for our children, and all the children in the community.  It is an amazing gift.  When my tweens got in the car after class yesterday I had a whole lot of grumbling, murmuring, and sour looks.  I tried to make light of it.  One child finally asked if I enjoyed choir when I was a kid.  I told them I didn't have that gift as a child.  I didn't grow up in a Christian home and we didn't have an amazing choir instructor that offered classes for us.  They retorted, "See, you didn't have to do it!"

I hope that I have eyes to see the gifts that God gives me for what they are.  Today I have the gift of children with bad attitudes.  Granted I have a propensity for bad attitudes myself, and they are picking right up on that.  It is helping me to see that I have to have faith.  The things in my life that are hard and unpleasant are there to make me more like Christ.  They are specifically tailored to hit my rough spots and make me chafe until I stop chafing and thank God.  I feel like I am pushing a giant rock up a hill that has no top.  I know that I was a tween once too.  I gave my parents all kinds of hell about things I didn't want to do.  Some of them they stuck to, and some they let me drop.  I took piano and failed.  As I work with my son now, I regret every practice I skipped.  And so goes the world.  The duties we shirk come back to bite us in the butt.  I hope that, by the grace of God, I can be a little more tenacious about getting my kids up their personal mountains.

I am trying to come up with a system of positive influence to help with these areas.  There are so many things, and so many kids.  Trying to figure out how to motivate them all is a challenge.  I know that rewards can be much more powerful than consequences, although there is a place for those as well.  I just keep praying for wisdom and knowledge of each child.  Jubilee will just lay down and give up sometimes, and it breaks my heart.  She knows how to work my weaknesses already.  I just keep praying for her to see how many people are helping her up this mountain she is climbing.  I made a deal with two of the girls.  If they would participate cheerfully for the next month we would entertain the possibility of letting them drop music.  If there is any grumbling or complaining in that time the deal is done and they go for the year.  We will see how it goes.  They were happy for the moment, but I would put the odds against them.

Grumbling is such a killer.  It is so easy to do, but so destructive.  I have been trying to watch my words and keep them on the upbeat.  Once I let that first negative word slip, it seems like the slide is long and ugly.  Going back to make amends helps keep me in check.  I will realize early in my rant, that I need to stop and turn around.  It happens a little more quickly, and I think it really helps the kids to see Mom own her blunder and try again.  My goal is few words that are productive and positive.  It seems like I should be able to make up a punchy alliteration there, but I haven't had enough coffee.  To all of you Moms out there pushing rocks up hills.  Keep at it, someday that child will be pushing their own rock and suddenly they will get it.  In the meantime, be grateful for the rocks God has given you, they are there to be built into His beautiful work.