He discovered that most people had not abandoned their faith, and they had not left the church because of some doctrinal issue or change in their beliefs. Rather, most of these church dropouts were struggling with something they could not hide - abuse, sex addictions, eating disorders, gambling - any number of chronic issues The story he heard was usually the same. They went to church, participated in the activities, got involved in a group, even confessed their sins. But over time they felt judged or unaccepted by others, so they left. The hope and dignity they were longing for never came, and in most cases neither did recovery.
As I meditate on this paragraph and continue to seek God in His Word I find that my faith in God is big enough to trust Him to protect the innocent. I live in a real world. I have seen the innocent abused. I have also seen the innocent protected, healed, and restored by Him. A big part of that restoration is their forgiving their abusers (in time). They are not bitter or afraid. That is the true restoration that is only found in Christ. I earnestly desire true recovery for every sinner.
I used to sit in a room with recovering alcoholics on a regular basis. We would go around the room and admit that we were alcoholics and share our stories. I knew from the beginning that my higher power was the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I sought out a church and boldly (stupidly) told the pastor all about my sin and weakness. He assured me that his church was full of alcoholics and that they had already shared the "Big Book" with him and met regularly with him. The power of that conversation has stayed with me to this day. It wasn't an easy road to recovery, but it was true recovery. It didn't take me long to be able to identify the people in the circle who were truly in recovery and those that weren't ready to give up booze as their higher power. Those were the folks that I had to pray for and confront when they fell off the wagon. It wasn't pretty or fun, but it reminded me every single time that, but for the grace of God was me. It humbled me and kept me seeking God.
If we say we want to be a church that reaches out to the lost, the hurting, the unlovely and the sinners of the world, then we better be ready to rub shoulder to shoulder with them in our lives. This means that we will worship with prostitutes, abusers, addicts, cons, and all kinds of folks that we tend to avoid. Our call is to love them. Love them in a way that gives them dignity. They will only truly recover if we will follow Jesus and love them. He also calls them to sin no more, just like He calls us to sin no more. It's really easy to think our sin is not that bad when we compare ourselves to someone else, especially when they may have sinned against us. We may justify ourselves by thinking we are protecting others. Yes, we may need to protect the abused as they recover, and as the abuser recovers. I don't think forgiveness requires us to interact with an abuser before God has had time to heal on both sides. Yet, what I think I am seeing in my walk with Jesus is that the best way to protect the innocent is to walk with the sinners. Love the sinners. Confront them in love when they sin, the way we would want to be confronted. If we try to push them out of church or community or any other healthy group we are leaving them without dignity and without hope. God loves them and has called them into our midst. We will be known by our love. Love one another by confronting sin when we see it, forgive as we are forgiven, and have faith that God will protect those who need protection.
I know this sounds like a tall order. If it doesn't sound like a tall order, you probably haven't been on the receiving end of this situation. I don't always walk this out the way I know Jesus has called me to; in fact lately, I have had it pretty much bass ackward. My Momma Bear emotions get going, and I want to kick someone's butt to the glory of God. I want to see that someone is truly understanding how much they have hurt someone I love and myself, but that is not the path to true recovery. In order to recover from chronic sin you do need to confront the sin and own what you have done. You need to make restitution wherever you can. It is hard, and God in His kindness doesn't show us how badly we have hurt people all at once. We can't handle the ugliness of our sin all in one sitting. It takes time. We can help in this by allowing dignity to the sinner wherever possible. Sometimes that means that the we put our arm around a sinner and walk them out of a situation that we know is dangerous for them. It means grabbing that beer in front of them and offering them a ride home. It means getting into the mess with them and having faith in God. God will sort out the mess. He will restore health and heal all of our hurts. Sometimes it means diligently praying for other people to be willing to get into the mess and walk with someone who has seriously hurt us. It means taking our pain to God and remembering that God has forgiven us for much. It means being humbled by the fact that we struggle daily with sin as well. It means seeking forgiveness for ourselves when we realize we have been unforgiving.
Walking with God will take you into dark places at times. Remember that He is the light, and He is in us. Be thankful for whatever you can find in a dark place, because there is always something to be thankful for. Seek godly friends and counsel if you are in a situation where you are vulnerable or need help. Help those who are walking along with you by being an encouragement. Sometimes encouragement is removing a temptation. Get someone you know is weak in an area away from things that prey on their weakness. Sometimes they just need to know someone who cares about them is watching out for them. Don't give in to fear! God does not give us a spirit of fear, and when we let fear get ahold of us we are falling into our own sin. He gives us a community of people if we will look for them. They may be all around us and we need to pray for eyes to see who God has on our team. They may not look like the kind of people we would recruit, but God has a way of bringing precious gifts in odd looking packaging. When you feel faint, rest in God. Our God calls us to impossible tasks, but He has done the impossible. He loved us before we loved Him and He died for all of our sins so that we would have new life. Don't deny new life to a brother or sister that has hurt you. In order for them to walk in newness of life, they need to know that they are loved. Their sin is killing them, and they need those who are living to love them out of it.
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