I'm full

When people ask me how I am, I tend to give them a blank stare; first of all because I'm a slow processor and that is an open ended question; second there is so much that I want to give them the digested format; third I don't want it to come across as complaining.  The bottom line answer is that I'm full.  I'm full of good things.  It's a heavy load, and things roll off the top looking like I am a basket case, but I'm no good at containing it all.

The school year has blasted off.  Nine kids, four schools, two states, reams of paperwork (why do we have computers again?), countless schedules (at least too many for me to count which is more than five), and one patient husband.  So far everyone has left the house clothed and fed which I count as a huge success.  Speaking of success, I am taking a whole new angle on that.  I'm trying to think of a snappy saying to explain the number of F's we have racked up already.  I'm also trying to be cheerful that we need to throw around so many letter grades this early in the year.  A year without grades was very restful.  It's okay, the kids are still happy at school and oddly the teachers are pretty smily too.  My hair is getting grayer by the minute, but that's okay too, it's the new blonde.

The southern girls are learning many things.  They are learning that they may not be Olympic fast, but they are not bad for NAIA.  They are learning that they do have strengths and what a good annual salary is.  They are learning that color does make a difference in some places, and Brook is off the charts on the white scale which makes her stand out in the south.  They are learning how to drive in flash floods, and how to sit through football games during lightning storms.  We don't get much of that here in Idaho.  I think they might be learning a little writing and Biology too, but they don't talk about that much.

This week is the much anticipated fair.  We will be full of elephant ears, fried onions, pop, carnival rides, dust, pigs, and friends.  It will be exciting, exhausting, emotional, hot, and fun.  We load up the oinkers tonight and clean them up a bit before their public appearance.  We have finished up a few record books and gotten the rest up to date.  It was a lot of work, but it was good work and I am glad they have done it.  I will need a few days next week to catch up on some sleep and laundry, but I am glad that Soren's day in the sun is here.

Life is very full.  So full that when we have changes the weight of it feels the same.  I have three less people to feed this year, but it doesn't feel like a vacation.  Probably because the number of teenage boys that manage to show up at dinner time is roughly the same as the number of girls that left.  I do love it, even though I feel like I'm being squashed most of the time.  I think the things that weighs on me the most is that I don't like leaving things undone.  I like to wrap up projects in one sitting.  That rarely happens, ever.  I don't even manage to wrap up lunch in one sitting.  I have run out the door leaving a half eaten meal more often then not.  I feel very scattered and unreliable, which is hard.  I don't mean to be, I have just maxed out what my brain can hold.  The things I am clinging to are my Bible reading, Bible study, and family meals.  I'm even limiting meals to a few nights a week.  I don't want them to be a burden to my kids, I want to keep them joyful.  Maybe once the weather gets cruddy they will come to the table more.  It is good to be full.  I wouldn't trade it for empty.  From what I can tell, it will continue to fill up more and more.  It makes me thankful for the hope of eternal rest.

I'm thankful for:

dirt, lots and lots of dirt

art, kids that love art and make my home beautiful

Grandparents and all the joy they bring when they visit

Bicycles, exercise and transportation all in one

Grocery stores, the thought of hunting and gathering for this mob makes me very thankful for Costco

Good books, they give me hope

Facetime, it feels like my girls are still right here

Older kids that can help younger kids with homework, there are advantages to having the same assignments year after year.