When I headed off for college my goal was to get a degree. I didn't have any grand plan after that, I just went because that was what you did when you graduated from high school in my family. Both my parents graduated from college and had careers and they had prepared me for that path as well. I had no idea what I wanted to major in, so I started out majoring in Environmental Science because that was what my boyfriend was majoring in (I ended up marrying him, so it wasn't a terrible plan). We learned a lot about each other and about Environmental Science in that year. I also learned that I don't get Calculus at all. I changed majors my sophomore year to anything science oriented, semi-interesting and not requiring Calculus: Human Nutrition. It turned out to be a good major for me and I did enjoy the classes. I should have pursued my R.D. but in all honesty I was lazy and I didn't know what I wanted to do with this degree so I went for just getting the degree, thanks. I struggled. I questioned why I was even at college. My dad gave me thousands of "get your butt to work and just finish this thing" speeches. I was blessed with the ability to pay for school and not have to go into debt. I am grateful that I persevered and finished, but I still question whether I needed to go through all of that or not. In the providence of God I did, and I'm sure it was not wasted time.
That said, my passion was to be a mom. All I really wanted was to be married and to be able to be with my children. I wanted to be able to read to my kids and make cookies. I wanted to teach little people how to garden and fish and organize their toys. I didn't think about educating these little people until after I graduated from college and realized I probably should have thought a lot more about that sooner, but alas, my life has not been the model of efficiency. I knew all along that I didn't want to be a "career woman," but if I had said that to my mom, I'm pretty sure she would have passed out. She was a successful attorney and brilliant and I would have been shooting for the dregs of humanity. She was trying to save me from this life of meaninglessness. And so the story goes, one generation's dreams are dashed upon the next. God was kind to me, and I got to have my degree and have my family too. For that I am profoundly grateful, even though I occasionally rant about the waste of time that college is.
What I want my children to know is that I want you to follow your own passions. God gives you desires that He wants you to follow. Don't waste your time doing what you think someone else expects you to do. The most valuable time you can spend is spending time reading God's Word, talking to Him in prayer, worshipping Him faithfully and doing what you love. Your loves are gifts from Him. You all have talents that I don't have. Your artistic ability is a gift from God, not from me. Your ability to run fast and jump high are also gifts. Look for ways to use the gifts you have been given to glorify God. Don't worry about how much money you might make doing any of these things or how many jobs there are in that field. If you follow God, He will provide for your needs. I have tried to let you travel as much as our resources allowed, because I think it is important to see God working in the world. If you desire to travel, do! College will always be there. You don't have to stick with a path once you are on it, as your grandpa likes to say, "when you get to the fork in the road, take it." And if Mr. Right drops in and offers to take you on an adventure with him, GO!
I could go on and on about Mr. Right, but you will know him when you meet him. That text where you described him, that isn't him. That guy was really contradictory and once you met him you would want to change him. Just trust me, he will be the guy you don't expect that you can't stop thinking about no matter how annoying that is. He will most likely show up when you are not looking. God will let you know that he is the one, and you should follow him. I'm praying for him all the time, and I'm trusting God to make it plain to you.
If you end up going to college for four years, getting a degree, landing a spectacular job in some amazing place and loving it, GREAT! If you go to graduate school and get a PhD, I'll be your biggest fan. I'm not expecting you to be married by the time you are 25. I'm trying to keep my expectations to a very minimal level. You may have a great career ahead of you and never get married, and that is fine too. You may live overseas and take care of orphans and then...whatever. God gave me my dream, and I am thankful for it. I don't expect your lives to look like mine. If you choose to stay home with your kids with or without a college degree, I will love you all the same. God gives us amazing freedom, which can be terrifying. He will narrow down the choices for you, and don't get too frustrated by that. When options are taken away, trust Him. When opportunities arise, pray. Just know that I am proud of every one of my children. You have all taught me so many things about life, so much more than I learned in college. I am not disappointed in how things are turning out, and no decision you make will change how much I love you. Keep your eyes on Jesus and listen for His still small voice. You will get lots of advice. Be wise in who you listen too. Seek counsel from those who are older and wiser and who have been down the road a little further. I'm always here if you need me. I'm praying for God to lead you beside the still waters and for you to hear His voice.
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