It's called stealing!

I have had to define stealing in about 10,000 ways over the past couple of weeks.  I hope this doesn't end in a detective dropping by my house in the next few hours, but if one does I will not be surprised.  My fun loving, adventurous, smart, jovial, and, all at the same time stupid boys keep planning things that involve stealing in various forms. 

One plan was pretty straight forward, and my step-mom was here to witness the whole conversation between me and my son.  He was planning to "pick-up some wood, to build a bench."  This seemed a bit odd, so I asked for details.  He was very forth coming with details involving a neighbor's property, an "old pile of wood" and a plan for a bench.  After asking some key questions about who owned the wood?  Had permission been given?  Why proximity to house was relevant to ownership?  How length of time since last use was relevant to ownership?  He flopped down and the couch and deemed the whole project, "not worth it."  Thank God.

Next day.  Plan was to go golfing.  Are you taking money?  Why?  Ahem.  Lesson two, was all about private property that has an intended use involving paying dues, means that it is not just available to every yahoo who jumps the fence.  Yes, even if no one else seems to be using it at the time.  Really.  Ok, so trespassing is also stealing.

My wise son, then comments. "maybe we should quit playing Grand Theft Auto."  Ya think?

There were more, similar conversations mostly involving blank stares, and long pauses between answers.  Mind you, as far as I know my kids are relatively bright and well behaved.  I love them, even when I have to repeatedly explain a concept that is well defined in most law reviews and the Bible.  One of the top 10 in the Bible I might add.

The challenge this week is to figure out how to have these conversations while remembering that these are good people.  I want to inspire the good that God is growing in them to overcome this very blind stupidity.  Once upon a time, I could give them a swat and send them to their room.  Not really effective at this time.

My temptation is to give a lengthy lecture about reputations, resumes, rap sheets and how those all figure into future blessing.  I recently had a small spot of skin cancer removed and it brought me right back to all the warnings I was given at the ripe old age of 20 about the dangers of tanning beds.  I worked at a tanning salon, so ya.  I get it now, but not really helpful to my 20 year old daughters.  If the curse is too far out, the immortal teen does not give a hoot.  A lot could happen between now and then, which really is a decent point.  At the end of the day, what I want the voice in my child's head to say, is something like this: "Any dumb ass can do this.  I want to be something better.  I want to be the one who did the right thing because I love my God, my dad, my younger sibling, my friends and all the other people who might follow in this."  I want them to do things, or not do things because they trust the people who warned them, and they want something more.

The million dollar question is, how?  I really thought my kids would just understand how much I love them and trust my word.  I thought I trusted God like that, until my will didn't match up with his.  Grace is a wild and unexplainable thing.  It is also incredibly powerful.  We don't like to give our kids grace because it feels like they are getting away with something.  They know in their heart what they deserve and when it doesn't come, and they know we know it too, Wow.  Those are the pivotal moments when they realize returning good for evil has a power that is counter intuitive to what the world offers.  They do get away with a lot, but when they are caught and we extend grace well, it changes their hearts.  We all yearn for justice, but there are times when grace just blows justice out of the water.  This is not easy living.  We don't always lean into the moment.  More often than not I go the lecture route and wear myself out with useless words.  I forget until it's too late that I needed to give a hug and ask myself, "How would I want to be treated here?  How can I show them Jesus?"

I must deal with my core unbelief.  God loves my kids far more than I do.  He knows what is truly best for them.  They are His.  They are my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I have a lot to learn from them.  When I can live out those things and let go of trying to write their stories in a way that makes me look decent, and makes their lives easy, then I will be living by faith.  I have to lean into God's discipline in my life, and in theirs.  I need to trust that his tests are for our good.  How can my kids trust me, if I'm not trusting our God fully?  I know that God has written his law upon their hearts.  I know that their conscience won't let them steal and get away with it.  I know if they get caught doing something stupid, that I need to trust God to work it out in their lives.  He did in mine, and I am eternally grateful.