We began this year in church, which is so appropriate. Brant and Rachel were in town with their family, which was overwhelming and great. That is pretty much how I feel about my life. It is overwhelming and great. Aaron said the question he asks himself each is year is, "What's next?" This year is the year of mission in our church. I'm excited about this, but honestly apprehensive. I love to study God's Word. I love to get geeky and read fat books and think. I would LOVE to live in a cabin in the woods by myself and read and chop wood all day. I also love helping people. I see needs everywhere and want to dive in and help. I seem to think I can help everyone. My struggle will be with boundaries. I need to fence myself in. I need to wait on God and see what He has for me. I want to focus more on prayer and marriage.
Sometimes I think I have made a train wreck of my life. Then I explain my struggles to people who work with struggling people and they promptly set me straight. Having an overly ambitious and hard working son should not be classified as a struggle. Having all of my teens bring their friends to our house to hang out should not be classified as a struggle. It is only a struggle for my introvert side. That part of me just wants to shut the door and drown out the noise. The person who gets the short end of this is my sweet husband. He seems to always be at the end of the line. I need to work on that. My boundary needs to include quiet time for me, and time to focus on him. I need to train my kids to seek out other people to meet their needs, actually I probably need to point them to God more and me less.
I tend to always think the next stage of life will be more manageable. I felt overwhelmed with toddlers all around me. I felt overwhelmed with middle schoolers activites. I feel overwhelmed with teen drivers and dating and more activites. I am sure weddings and grand children and a decaying body will feel heavy too. I'm reading a book about Heaven. I'm hoping it will give me something solid to look forward to. I love my life, but I usually feels like I am trying to lift about 10 pounds too much and I'm trying to figure out how many more reps I can actually do. I hope that means I am getting stronger. Growth, it's a good thing.
I am thankful for:
1. Fresh snow in the morning
2. Blue skies over snow covered trees
3. Fireworks at midnight on New Years morning, I was asleep, but I'm sure they were glorious.
4. Friends who let us help them move
5. Friends who let us watch football at their house
6. Wool socks
7. Whipped cream in my coffee on Sunday
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