"You Have No Right"

One of my younger set has recently hit a bumpy patch in life.  He informed me on Friday that I "had no right to make plans for him without his OK."  I had given him 5 uninterrupted minutes to let me know what was on his mind before I would respond.  I tried very hard to keep a straight face while he schooled me in parents rights and obligations and how I should love my neighbor.  I have to say that I must be making some progress in my anger management, because I did keep my mouth shut until he was finished and then sat there staring at me waiting for me to respond.  My response was likely at a higher volume than proximity warranted, but it was significantly lower than many previous occasions and I felt like I was sane through the whole conversation.

The advantage of being an older mom is that I have been through this particular line of reasoning many times.  My older set has it down to an art and could probably write a book, so I am pretty familiar with the script.  Television is doing this kid no favors.  He seems to think Disney is reality TV.  I am not that parent.  I am not feeling the least bit guilty that he wasn't happy with my decision.  I understand my job and am prepared to do it whether he thinks I'm awesome or not.  I pointed out to him that if I let him decide what was best for him, and made it my chief end to make him happy he would consume large amounts of sugar and caffeine daily, go to bed around 2 am, play video games 18 hours a day, and just "use other people's stuff" any old time he wanted.  True love doesn't do that my son, sorry.  As he was talking I was hearing the same sentiments being articulated by older kids in slightly different contexts, but realizing there really is nothing new under the sun.  Private property is private property, weather it is a bench on someone's property far from their house, or their device sitting at a park, or a field planted, growing and not to be driven or walked on.  Common sense apparently is not a thing until sometime in the later 20's (I hope).

I am also old enough to recognize that I was that stupid once upon a time.  I recognize the logic because it didn't work for me either.  I know where the road they are testing out goes, and I am hoping they get off of it much sooner than I did.  My job is to let them know the up coming curves are really not fun, no matter what the idiots currently traveling it tell you.  Trust me, I was an idiot.  I am so grateful that I can see the flaws in their logic.  I can point them to truth and know that it really does work.  I can pray for them and know that their father in heaven loves them more than I do and has gotten them through a plethora of deadly stupidity so far.  I am not their savior, I'm just their mom.  I am flawed, and have blind spots.  I love them the best that I can, and I cry out to God to fill in the gaps.  I know God has a plan for them.  I don't doubt whether they are his or not, I remind them that they are.  I know his plans are not my plans and I trust him to work out the plot twists.

Of course I still want to control, which I need to give up.  I still want to make the way smooth, and much to my son's surprise I do want him to be happy.  I want him to be truly happy, not the fake happy he is hoping for.  I want to reach their hearts, not their manners, or their happiness, or their ability to fake it.  I want them to want God as much as I do.  That means that this Lent I need to rest in God.  Rest in his ways and his plans.  I need to walk with him in joy.  I need to repent of my lack of volume control, my desire to make things happen in other people's life, and embrace humility.  My kids are my greatest treasure on their bad days as well as their good days.  I need to walk that out every single day.