When the Ride gets Bumpy

There will be days when you feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.  You will wake up one morning to the sunshine pouring in to greet you.  You will get up, have your cup of coffee and read your Bible.  All will seem right with the world.  You will get together with a friend and they will start telling you tales that make you wonder if you should pinch yourself.  You are listening and smiling and wondering if an alien has taken over your body, or your friends.  You may sit in a group of ladies and hear about a situation that you are familiar with, but what you are hearing sounds so absurd to you that you start to wonder if it is all a dream.  It's OK.  Life gets really weird sometimes.

I know I have written about this many times, but the same scene can look very different from different angles.  That's why instant replay is so popular.  Twelve different camera angles can make a play even more difficult to call, and in the end some well paid guy in a black and white shirt is still going to get death threats.  So it is with our lives.  A situation which I may think I see so clearly may look completely different to someone from the other side of town.  And usually it is not a fight that we actually have a dog in anyway.  We are hearing one person's perspective, or maybe one person's perspective of one person's perspective and really, who knows what actually happened.  Well, God knows.  He knows and He is not mocked.

What do we do when we are feeling whipped around and close to hurling?  We pray.  We find solace in the Word of God.  We remember that He is our shield and our sword.  His Word is the light to our path.  We remember that we are small and limited, and He is big and wild.  He is not finished with our story, if we are still sitting in the middle of it wondering what in the world is going on.  We must trust Him.  We must not put too much faith in men, no matter how wise or godly we believe them to be.  They are still men.  They see things from their angle.  They may have heard more of the story than we have and we may have to submit to decisions that we really don't agree with.  Keep praying.  Keep looking to God.  Moving to Nebraska or even Italy is not going to make the world seem less topsy turvy.  By the grace of God there are nuts in all countries and all times.  We get to live with the nuts in our own bowl.  I am a nut too, don't think I am looking down on nuts.  Read some good  books.  You will find that this story line is all too familiar.  Love your neighbor.  Don't start trashing your friend.  She sees what she sees, you see what you see, and praise God, He sees what is.

It is is all too easy to start attributing motives to people.  It is easy to let fear take hold, causing you to distrust everybody.  Don't get off the ride you are on, just to get on a bigger harder ride.  Run to your Father.  Cry out to Him.  Sing psalms.  Go for a bike ride with your kids.  Remember that God takes time.  He lets the wicked build their own gallows to hang themselves on.  He is long-suffering, and he calls us to join him in that.  Sometimes this story line will come back to you in waves.  You will think it was dealt with, and it will roll in years later.  Buckle up, look to the Lord and love the people around you.  I am so very grateful for people who see things I don't see.  I am grateful for answered prayers, and unanswered prayers.  I am grateful for hard times that cause us to cling to the Lord and to cling to one another.  Father forgive me for forgetting how frail I am and for not trusting you to protect the weak.

Contemplating the Run

I wanted to add to my thankful list last night, but my husband had taken over my computer, and then he turned the Internet off before I got a chance.  I got a very sweet and thoughtful email from one of my children yesterday.  They had read my blog post and had some input.  They have been involved in the discussion all along, but needed some clarification.  It made me happy, even if I don't have great answers for all of the questions, I have a quest.

There are so many trade offs, and now that I have said we are homeschooling out loud I have moments when I find it hard to breathe.  I am not a gifted teacher.  I do know this.  My kids know my weaknesses better than anyone.  If they can get their current teachers off on rabbit trails, you can bet they know how to take me off on one.  I cannot avoid dealing with my sin, it will be blowing up all around me.  I could go on for a long time on this path, but I just keep giving it to God.  He knows all of that, and much more.

I'm going to try to focus on how we came to this decision, and hope that I don't forget it.  My family is growing up.  I don't have that much time left with all of them at home.  If I am at a job, and they are all at school, I'm missing out on all of their growth.  We all get home, and there are chores to be done, food to be made, games to be watched, children who need hugs, Latin to be quizzed, and a thousand other things, all before 10:00 pm (hopefully).  There are a few who are struggling in different areas, who really need to be able to slow down.  They need to work at their own pace, and go over things until it sticks.  I have one in particular who loves to be outside.  I want them to have that opportunity.  There are some subjects that they aren't offered at our current school that I want them to be able to take.  We have grown up to the point that I can see where we need to provide some opportunities that we have not been able to think about in the past.  I am ready to take on a new set of challenges and a completely different schedule, in order to provide some new things in our home.  Rick is committed to this as well. In fact he is the one who keeps me from turning back.

Looking ahead is uncertain, frightening, a little like taking the lift to the top of the mountain and looking down the hill through all of the moguls wondering if it will be a glorious run, or if you will end up on the toboggan behind the ski patrol.  I'm expecting some spectacular crashes, with skis flying and powder everywhere, hopefully there will be a few stretches of tight turns, and speed with a few decent landings.  It may take me a few runs to get the hang of it.  The kids are all good sports.  They are excited about the unknown, probably because they are hoping we won't start our day until noon.  Boy, are they wrong!

Today I am thankful for:

College acceptance letters

Emails from children with really good questions, ones that require serious thought on my end

Sweet friends with encouraging words

Road trips in the future

White, snow capped mountains out my window

Sisters standing up for one another, don't mess with the Schumaker girls

Warm lattes on cold mornings

New adventures waiting for me every single morning

Prayer to mold me