18 Years

Eighteen years ago our stories merged.  We left our fathers and mothers, and set out on our own.  It has been a wild ride.  We got off to a very bumpy start.  We jolted and swerved, we did some Brodie's, but we got it settled down to a nice cruise.  It took me a while to figure out that this whole, "until death do us part" thing was for real.  I took the institution of marriage far too lightly for many years.  I managed to almost destroy it before I realized how important this one man was to me.  He is my life.  I have his name.  I have nine children that also have his name.  Without him I am less than half a person.  It is a scary thing, but also a glorious thing.  I didn't know it then, but I certainly do now.

We have a very full life together.  So full in fact that when we tried to go out to dinner last night we ended up changing our reservations for Monday night.  I am praying that Monday will be more sane than Friday.  Mads was down with a tummy bug, the next three kids got invited to other events, two kids wanted to go to a movie downtown which left the three littlest home with Mads.  I know from experience that sickness and pre-schoolers don't mix, so I begged for Rick to change our reservations.  He was grumpy, but consented.  Our biggest shortcoming in our relationship is finding time for us.  We did get in a walk together in the morning which was quite a coup.  It is very easy to let the children's needs crowd out our time together.  It is hard to explain to them that we need this time to make their lives more secure.  Someday, maybe, they will get that.  I am praying that someday I will be able to help in that area.  I want to be able to help with my grand babies so that my children can work on the core relationship in their families.

Marriage is really a merging of two families.  My daughter this week was looking at pictures on facebook.  She commented to me about a friend who had recently married and was in several pictures with her mother-in-law.  She realized that she had better like her husband's mother and enjoy spending time with her.  I smiled.  Yes, you don't just get a husband, you get another family.  I hope that we will be a family that finds joy in our additions.  Adopting two children has given us just a taste of this process.  They became members of our family for better or for worse.  I keep reminding Jubilee that there will be a day when she may choose to leave, but it is still several years out.  Who knows, she may want to keep us by then.  I know she wants to keep us now, which gives me hope for my future in-laws.  They won't have to eat my cooking every night or abide by my house rules, so how bad could we be?

I hope that the next 18 years will be smoother, and richer than the last 18 years.  I know that the good times are still ahead.  We will get to give our daughters away, and help our sons find godly wives.  We will get to guide our children into their futures as adults.  It seems too soon, but I guess it is coming upon us, just like my greying hair.  Those two young faces are long gone, replaced by less hair, more jowls, and laugh lines.  Happy Anniversary Rick, you are far more patient than I could have imagined 18 years ago.  We've got a good story going.