Culture

I had a very interesting talk with a mom of one of Karsten's friends.  She is Korean, and is here for a month visiting her daughter.  I had asked her if she would mind teaching me how to cook Korean food while she is in town.  We were getting a shopping list together so that she can teach me how to make bulgogi on Friday.  I can't wait!  Karsten loves sushi, so we are going to work on that too.  Everyone assures me it is really simple, I have my doubts.

We chatted for a while about homeschooling, missions work, Korean history, boys, the gospel, several really interesting topics.  It has had me thinking about culture and how deeply it is ingrained in our lives.  There are so many things that are cultural norms that we don't recognize.  I know that there are cultural differences that are unsettling for Martha.  I also know she can't articulate what they are.  They are subtle and all around her and they make her uncomfortable.  Things as small as how long you let your eyes linger during a conversation have a deep meaning.  I need to be much more gracious than I have been.  I let my Germanic tendencies run right over her far too often.  I am holding her to standards she doesn't understand, and I can't articulate well.  Being bi-cultural is extremely complex, but I think it will make her a much deeper person in the long run.  She will develop a grace that I will never fully understand, and I envy that in many ways.

Last night she told me she felt like she was failing everything.  I put my arm around her and told her I felt the same way.  I told her that as her mom I felt like her failures were my failures as well.  I feel like I am not giving her enough support.  Then I have the failures of everyone else in the house to own as well.  If kids aren't prepared, who is responsible?  Ultimately it's me.  If dinner sucks, who's fault is that?  When there are no clean towels, who flopped on that?  At the end of the day, if it's not one thing, it's your mother.  I don't think it made her feel completely at ease, but I think she did see that I'm not the mother of the year, and life still goes on.  The sermon on Sunday had been directly aimed at this particular thing, at least I think it was, maybe I missed that whole point too.  The answer was Jesus.  Jesus is enough.  He knows we are failures, that's why he had to come to rescue us.  We are a lot of sorry souls that can't see past our own noses.  He loves us in spite of this, and manages to work miracles in our little lives.  She was skeptical of this answer.  Honestly in the moment so am I.

I have had many a day when I thought that if Jesus was all I needed why didn't he just get down here and change a few of these diapers.  In the thick of that he helped me to see that those smelly diapers were on precious children that he loved very much.  They needed me to help them, and love them, and teach them, and forgive them, and see myself in them.  He has been all that I have needed.  He has calmed my spirit when it was railing against every little bump.  He is the subtle peace just under everything in my life.  He is the culture that I want to keep when everything else is stripped away.  That takes some attention, and a lot of faith.  We are working on it each and every moment.

Today I am thankful for...

Grocery stores stocked with exotic food from all over the world

Pintrest for inspiring me to great beauty and good eating

Kids plugging away at school when the going gets tough

Rick, his faithful breakfast skills and steadying influence on our home

Pastors that preach the truth

Flocks of birds doing aerial maneuvers outside my window

Fireplaces on cold mornings