Well, I think...

I took my first crack at sushi this afternoon.  Note to self: the consistency of the rice is VERY important.  My friend Juhee came over yesterday and made dinner while I watched.  She made Jap-Chae, fried rice, and bulgogi.  She is a very good cook, and I had a great time watching her work in the kitchen.  We had a great time partaking of the result as well.  She made it look easy, but I'm sure I will blunder through several attempts before I get the hang of it.  I am ready to take the risk now that I have a few tricks to try out.

Yesterday was a long day.  Rick was out of town this week, and I was starting to feel like I wasn't going to be able to keep the balls rolling much longer.  I'll be honest, I almost re-registered the kids for school.  Not that that would have helped the schedule in any way, but it would give me hope that at some point they might all be busy and not need me constantly.  It's a fantasy I entertain now and then, but am fully aware it will never be.  I am very thankful that I have so many people kicking around my house so that I never get lonely and I am forced to deal with sin right away.  My kids are getting very good at letting me know when I am getting out of line.

One of the things I have noticed this week is that girls in particular are very uncomfortable with differences of opinion.  We gravitate towards people who we agree with.  We like to be able to share our opinions and not be concerned that we might offend someone, or that we might be wrong, (shudder).  Actually I think we are very afraid that we might be wrong, and someone might point it out and we will feel silly.  We were talking around the table about something that was happening at school.  Madie expressed her opinion, and I countered with something different.  She commented that she hated to give her opinion because people always tell her she is stupid, and she feels like she is always wrong.  I admit that I was more adamant than I needed to be, quiet discussions aren't really our family style.  I told her she had better get used to it, because that is what college is all about.  Just because someone disagrees does not mean you are wrong, it just means they hold another opinion.  You may agree wholeheartedly with someone and you are both wrong.  Being in agreement doesn't make it right, it just means you have a similar opinion.  Fortunately God has created an infinite diversity that makes life interesting.  I encouraged her to stop and listen to other people giving their opinion even if it is something she doesn't agree with.  Differing opinions give us opportunities to see things from a broader perspective.  When we spend too much time seeking out everyone we agree with, we tend to find ourselves in a very narrow crowd.  Usually the crowd just keeps getting thinner until you are sure you are the only person that gets anything right.  That is not a healthy place to be.

I was very fortunate to have found a group of very opinionated ladies that were older than I was early in my child rearing career.  We had some heated discussions, but we were able to laugh at ourselves eventually.  I learned so much from listening to them working through issues with their kids, their husbands, their friends.  We learned how to jab each other when things were getting out of hand.  We definitely had our bumps, but I am a more patient mom and friend because of their friendship.  The older I get the more I realize that I don't know nearly as much as I thought I did when I was 20.  Not only that I will never know as much as I should.  Being wrong is not the worst thing that will ever happen to me.  In fact as soon as I form a really bold opinion, I'm usually stepping on some one's toes.

Being right is not the most important thing.  I have seen the drive to be right wreck marriages, estrange children, alienate friends, and split churches.  Wrong and right are not usually the only options.  There are usually whole states in between wrong and right that can be explored and fall in the suit yourself category.  I seem to remember getting so worried that I was doing things wrong with my kids.  At the end of the day there are so many things that I got all worked up about that just didn't matter.  If you meet my family today you have no idea which ones were born in the hospital and which ones were born at home.  If you ask my kids they might not even know, except Soren, and please don't ask him unless you are prepared for a colorful birth story.  It seems so silly now, but I remember being very hesitant to tell people what our baby plans were.  I know it is still a topic of importance to so many ladies, because they are in the thick of it.  Honestly you will have so many things to worry about with babies and toddlers, giving birth will be the least of your worries (once it is over).  There is no right way to have a baby, there is just what works for you.  There is not right time to potty train, there is just the least painful option you can find.  There is no right way to peel a potato, or weed a garden, or stack your books, or discipline your kids, or decorate your house, or entertain the neighbors, thank God!  There are a plethora of options, and many of them are wonderful.  God loves variety, lots and lots of variety.  Of all people Christians should be the most colorful crowd around.  The road to God is narrow in a sense, but once you find it, it becomes an incredible highway of delightful destinations.  Don't let being right keep you from spending time with people who think differently than you do.  Those people might have all kinds of things to teach you about God and how gloriously diverse he is.

I hope my girls learn to hold their opinions loosely.  I want them to have firm opinions, but I want them to be willing to hear others out.  They may learn that their opinions have more validity than they thought.  They may modify what they think.  They may change their opinion completely.  They may have many friends that have many opinions, which is what I hope happens.  There is so much to be learned from the experience of others.  I am so grateful for all of the people around me that have been interested and supportive of all the crazy ideas we have had.  We have learned a lot through our adoptions.  We have met families that look very different than ours. I have learned so much from hearing their stories, and spending time in their homes.  With the number of children in our home we are going to broaden in our experience as they bring new people into our lives.  I'm sure I am going to have to grow in my ability to listen and be patient as my children try new things, and make the mistakes they need to make in order to grow in grace.  Letting love cover a multitude of opinions is not easy, but it is so much more rewarding than making sure you are always right, and most likely alone.

Today I am thankful for...

Cooking

Varieties of foods, flavors, techniques that make eating so wonderful

Ladies getting together over coffee and prayer

Sunshine in the winter

Good books

Siblings playing spoons, loudly

Husbands that return from trips across the country

Colorful fabric to bring cheer indoors

Dirt that makes food grow