Even Better

I mentioned to a friend yesterday that I am a slow processor.  She smiled and told me a story about a conversation we had had once upon a time, which left her wondering if I had it all together upstairs.  She said that she discovered my blog soon after that and realized that I was actually able to string a few thoughts together.  Now that I have a house of bustling people I sometimes lose my ability to complete much of anything.  I like to think, and write, and so I need to give it an imperfect shot more often than I have of late.

Someone in the last several months pointed out that when we pray we should expect more than we can even hope for.  My scoffer side choked a bit at that, but I have been watching what I pray for since then.  I can say that they are correct.  I toss up my prayer of little faith, and it comes back to me full and overflowing.  I haven't quite mustered up the courage to toss up something really big.  You know, something that might squash me on the way back down, full to overflowing.  I have watched others do it.

My friend Lisa's daughter got a challenge at summer camp.  She needed to feed 500 families one meal for Thanksgiving.  I shrugged my shoulders and told her I would help, crazy kid.  Didn't she realize that is around 2,000 people?  We live in a small town for goodness sake.  She didn't bat an eye, she knew God would blow her away.  She ended up feeding closer to 1,000 families.  The sad thing is that so many of us adult like folks were surprised.  So that is what childlike faith looks like.  I learned a big lesson about faith, about God, and about community in that one meal alone.  Thanks Annarose.

What I am going to do with that?  Am I going to continue to fret about my budget?  Am I going to worry about what God is doing in my children's lives?  When will I have faith like theirs and know that God is my father?  He has the whole world at his disposal.  When He sends us off to do a job that we can't handle, and we nail it, He gets the glory.  He pours out His resources generously and we get to surf away on His blessings.  It's true.  It happens all the time.  I know I am really good at nothing.  I am mediocre at a few things, but God can even use me.  My prayer this year is that I ask Him for something really big, something He wants me to do or be for Him.  I am praying that I will have eyes to see, and ears to hear, and that I won't shrug my shoulders and respond with, "Seriously?"

I have two kids who need more vitamin D than the rest of us.  When we started praying for them I felt like I was doing something big.  I got to travel to another continent, which was incredible.  People I had never met poured out their blessings on us and made it happen.  Now we live with them everyday, and I am eternally grateful for all that I have learned through them.  We have to deal with hard things sometimes, but they are growing and so am I.  The bigness of that starts to seem normal.  I have heard families that live overseas say the same thing.  Once they have made their new culture home, it just seems normal.  I guess that is how God works.  The big things don't always seem big.  I am hoping this doesn't mean that I am falling into some sin of needing to always do something bigger.  I want to just be in God's will, willing to say yes to whatever he throws my way.  I want to be faithful in the little things, so that I will be faithful in the big things.  I am going to watch and enjoy the ride and know that whatever I ask for will come back even better than I imagined.