For the Local Gals

I had a chat with a young mom recently that really hit me in the stomach hard.  It was not anything that was said in the conversation, it was just a realization that I am an older woman and I have neglected a big part of what God has called me to do.  At the time I was still working in the church office which was a great blessing in getting to know our body of believers a little bit better.  What became very obvious to me during that conversation was, that I am at the season in life where I have an obligation to be an encouragement to the ladies coming up behind me.  I remember when I was a young 20 something mom with a hovering mass of children around my feet desperately wanting some biblical wisdom and human contact.  I promised myself that I would not become on of those women who had time for lunch with friends, but no time to help the younger gals get to the grocery store.  So here I am repenting of my selfishness to all of you younger ladies.

I realize that the blogosphere is an impersonal space, and can be intimidating.  I would like to spend some time writing about things I have learned along the way, and to answer some questions that I get asked from time to time.  I also want to give a shout out to any of you who see me around town.  If you need to get to the grocery store and all your kids are sick, please call me.  I am dead serious.  I know it is hard to ask someone who is not your mom to do something like that, but I promise you I have been there and I will not be offended.  I have teenage daughters that can pinch hit for me, and I would be blessed to lend you a hand.  REALLY!

One of the things that it has taken me a very long time to figure out, is that my kids are following right behind me.  Ya, I know, not the sharpest tool in the shed.  They say the things I say, and pretty much just like I say it.  They are fussy about the things I fuss about.  The pet sins I have, they have.  I remember very clearly one time when my husband was admonishing one of our younger children, I was listening to him explain what they had been doing wrong, and realized they were doing exactly what I had been doing.  That was a very humbling experience.  No amount of correction on my part will be productive if I am not willing to deal with my sin.  That is a very hard pill to swallow, and it takes committed, diligent, humble walking before God and your children.  I asked my older girls to write me a card for Mother's Day telling me what they wished I did more of, and what they wished I didn't do.  I am praying for a tender heart to receive what they bring me.  I like to think I have my act pretty much together, but I know that these ladies know me better than anyone and they can pull out weeds I can't see.

One thing to keep in mind when your children are little, is that they are what they are growing up into.  If you see them sinning in a particular way, make note of it.  When they are little it is all right there in the open for everyone to see.  You teach them and train them to deal with their sin, and they will make progress.  It has been helpful for me to know what areas my kids tend to sin in.  If they did it when they were little, they have just gotten better at dealing with it as they have gotten older, but that bent is still there.  They will tend to slide off the road in the same spots.  You may not see it as often, but know that there is a dangerous point and help them to avoid it as they get older.

I've also noticed that when one of my kids is doing something and I can't quite put my finger on it, it is very helpful to pray specifically for that child.  I have prayed that if they need help and they need it from someone else that God would bring that someone into their life.  I don't know why it still surprises me when my child will come to me and tell me how someone mentioned something to them and did I think that was true.  God promises to be there for us and for our children.  They are ultimately His children and uses the people around us to guide them in ways that sometimes we can't.  Be humble and love the people that are around your children.  If someone comes to you with a concern about your child, don't get prickly, listen.  It is easy to let our mamma bear feelings take over and justify what our child is doing, but it is usually not helpful.  There may be extenuating circumstances that this other person doesn't see, but they probably have some insight that you need to get.  It takes a lot of love and courage to confront someone about their child.  If that happens to you, be thankful and really seek after the truth.  This can be especially humbling when your children start taking classes outside the home for the first time.  Just remember to keep your sense of humor, especially if you have a very outgoing child.  Let me tell you, they will say the darndest things.  I have been very grateful for phone calls about my children doing things they ought not to have been doing.  Most of us have children of our own, we get it, and we aren't judging you.

Write down the good stuff.  It will be treasured as your children grow up.  I am always amazed at the things I remember that they have forgotten.  Time flies, and before you know it you will be thinking about how to rearrange bedrooms after they move out.  I have five teens and I love them more and more each and every year.  Be encouraged, these days of diapers and silliness will be treasured and there are bigger and better adventures to come.  Your job as a Mom is the most important thing in the world.